Email Author Robert Wilonsky

2000 Stories by Robert Wilonsky

• Blow Up the Box

  published December 28, 2000

  Thank God for old Jews with shaky hands and the inability to tell this word (G-O-R-E) from this one (B-U-C-H-A-N-A-N). Without them--and... More >>

• Twisp of the Tale

  published December 21, 2000

  Contained within a care package sent by C.D. Payne is a self-penned press release introducing the author as "the Rodney Dangerfield of comic... More >>

• Broken and Battered

  published December 14, 2000

  Fair warning: Enough time has passed that it's OK to discuss the ending of writer-director M. Night Shyamalan's Unbreakable. Those who have... More >>

• Mel Sells Out

  published December 14, 2000

  What Women Want could be the first movie to win a Clio Award for Advertisement of the Year. No fewer than two dozen products receive... More >>

• Bless the Blockhead

  published December 7, 2000

  Christmastime is here, but for the first time, Charlie Brown's father will not be around to watch his depressed, round-headed child celebrate the... More >>

• Call Him "Security"

  published November 23, 2000

  Unbreakable is such a quiet film that whenever a character speaks above a whisper, it sounds like the shattering of glass in a... More >>

• Ransom Notes

  published November 9, 2000

  No one likes to be seen as the roadblock to a revolution. The unfortunate soul--or the dumb bastard--who chooses to impede progress is likely to... More >>

• Baby, Get Back

  published November 9, 2000

  Doug Sulpy and Ray Schweighardt's book Get Back: The Unauthorized Chronicle of the Beatles' Let It Be Disaster contains the sort of... More >>

• What, Them Worry?

  published November 2, 2000

  Let's get this out of the way right now, because so many of you will find this hard to believe: Yes, Mad magazine still exists. It is still... More >>

• Farrah to Poor

  published November 2, 2000

  The opening credits of Charlie's Angels hint at a movie that never appears in the film's expurgated 94 minutes; the tease is too... More >>

• The Man of Ink

  published October 26, 2000

  Before others could reject him, Michael Chabon had convinced himself no one wanted to read an epic novel about comic-book creators, mythical... More >>

• The Man of Many Face

  published October 19, 2000

  It has often been written of Chris Guest--or, if you prefer, Fifth Baron Christopher Haden-Guest, son of diplomat Peter Haden-Guest, who could... More >>

• "Look! I Made This!"

  published October 12, 2000

  A cold breeze blows through an open window, and a football game silently unfolds on the television screen. The old man sitting on the couch... More >>

• The Doctor Is In, Out, In, Out...

  published October 12, 2000

  Richard Gere, as Dallas gynecologist Sullivan Travis, has never been more likable onscreen, perhaps because he's never been more human, more... More >>

• Rock and a Hard Place

  published October 5, 2000

  John Wesley Hall believes justice is a myth taught in classrooms, a fable found in law books, as imaginary as the unicorn and the mermaid. The... More >>

• Still Alive!

  published October 5, 2000

  It shouldn't be this easy to get Peter Frampton on the phone, but it is: A publicist for DreamWorks Pictures calls, asks if you're interested in... More >>

• Sagging Bull

  published October 5, 2000

  Meet the Parents has just enough class to make for Prestige Pop: Robert De Niro as star, Randy Newman as composer, Blythe Danner as... More >>

• A Bad Experience

  published September 28, 2000

  The cynic won't care, the skeptic won't understand, and the true believer will be overwhelmed: Nearly 30 years to the day of Jimi Hendrix's death,... More >>

• Almost Famous

  published September 21, 2000

  At first, you don't want to admit it, because it seems somehow wrong--just too easy. After all, the woman on the other end of the phone line is... More >>

• Listen to the Movie

  published September 21, 2000

  This song explains why I'm leaving home and becoming a stewardess,” says Anita Miller (Zooey Deschanel) to her well-meaning, overbearing mother... More >>

• A Fan's Notes

  published September 14, 2000

  Almost Famous is the movie Cameron Crowe always wanted to make--and the movie he tried to keep from making as long as he could. The... More >>

• Teddy Thompson/Rickie Lee Jones

  published September 14, 2000

  He's the son of Richard and Linda Thompson -- hence the no-shit CD review, because Teddy is the heir to more than three decades' worth of giddy... More >>

• School's Out

  published September 7, 2000

  A month ago, R.J. Cutler thought he found a home for his child, one that would coddle and nurture his baby until it was ready to stand on its own... More >>

• The Bagmen Cometh

  published September 7, 2000

  This is the beginning of The Way of the Gun you will not see, because it was written but never filmed: Two men, Parker and... More >>

• Write and Wrong

  published August 31, 2000

  Success is relative in Hollywood, like a third cousin twice-removed who doesn't recognize you at family reunions, and doesn't care to. Fame is so... More >>