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2009 Stories by Raina McLeod

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  • Magic City Kitty: Top 9 Sexstions of 2009

    published Dec 31, 2009

    ​We are the paper that will put a ball gag in your mouth and slap you onto the cover. We get ragged on about the pros advertising in the back of our book and the smutty things we sometimes document ... More >>

  • Champagne Cocktails (a.k.a. NYE Lubrication) at Home

    published Dec 30, 2009

    ​If ushering in the year were a sport, champagne* would be the beverage of champions and we'd dump a huge cooler full of it onto Father Time's head at the stroke of midnight. It's bubbly, makes a wo... More >>

  • An Old Friend Returns to SoBe

    published December 31, 2009

    The champagne has worn off and so has the prospect of changing your ways in 2010. We’re happy to steer you further away from your short-lived... More >>

  • The Other Kardashian

    published December 24, 2009

    Because your next 12 months undoubtedly will be filled with a new crop of reality stars you’ll love to hate, why not spend the night with one... More >>

  • Good Times Provided by Manischewitz

    published December 24, 2009

    Twas the night before Christmas and your whole damn family is in the house. There isn’t a corner to escape to — not even the dog house.... More >>

  • How Much Is That Funny in the Window?

    published December 24, 2009

    PETA would probably make Jay Phillips out to be a villain for his joke about the harmonic sound of a dog being kicked, but we just like to... More >>

  • Sail Away With Us

    published December 24, 2009

    Even if Santa didn’t bring you the 50-foot yacht you asked for (for the 19th year in a row!), you can still spend the day after Christmas... More >>

  • Spots Are the New Plaid

    published December 24, 2009

    This is the time of year when animal gift-giving is at an all-time high. When kids ask, “How much is that doggy in the window?” and... More >>

  • I give good head. Just not to him!

    published December 24, 2009

    Magic City Kitty: I give good head. Just not to him! More >>

  • You’re in Miami, Bubba

    published December 17, 2009

    The Magic City doesn’t have Aspen’s majestic snow-capped mountains or New York’s elaborate labyrinth of concrete, but Miami has... More >>

  • These Keys Play Music

    published December 17, 2009

    If you thought a Russian piano player was a vodka-based cocktail served with a sharp turn of the wrist, a flat fist to the bar, and a garnish of... More >>

  • There’s No Crying in Holiday Baking

    published December 17, 2009

    A heaping cupful of sugar, two eggs, a dash of salt, a pinch of nutmeg, a splash of milk, and a nip of vanilla equal a fantastically failed... More >>

  • This Ain’t No Charlie Brown Christmas

    published December 17, 2009

    First the Grinch stole Christmas with his spindly, lettuce-hued fingers, and then our landlord ruled that denominational holiday decorations be... More >>

  • I'm in jail. Can I lock her down?

    published December 17, 2009

    Magic City Kitty: I'm in jail. Can I lock her down? More >>

  • Buju Banton Busted for Trying to Buy Cocaine

    Buju Banton Busted for Trying to Buy Cocaine

    published Dec 15, 2009

    ​Last Thursday, controversial reggae star Buju Banton (aka Mark Anthony Myrie) was busted for trying to buy nearly 15 7 kilos of cocaine from an undercover DEA informant. Myrie is as notorious... More >>

  • Pop-Up Shops Make Holiday Shopping More Explosive For All

    published Dec 15, 2009

    ​Ahh the holidays. A time when the mask of organized religion covers up the filthy, greedy, boozy underbelly of America at its worst. It's the time when you troll for the stuffin... More >>

  • Around Town this Weekend

    published Dec 11, 2009

    ​ Billy Crystal is bringing his 700 Sundays to town. As if we'd ever actually get more than 52 of those a year. More uncalled for cruelty. Humph.  DC rapper and underground boywonde... More >>

  • She's too skinny for my sausage

    published December 10, 2009

    Magic City Kitty: She's too skinny for my sausage More >>

  • Basel Brought The Box to Nikki Beach

    published Dec 07, 2009

    ​There was plenty of imported NY snatch traipsing around Miami for Basel, but perhaps the most famous receptacle of naughty body parts designed to give you pleasure was the aptly named The Box. ... More >>

  • Maher for Your Money

    published December 3, 2009

    Comedian Bill Maher has alienated politicians, religious zealots, and your pot-protesting mama with his political satire and commentary,... More >>

  • The Original Nutcracker

    published December 3, 2009

    Chestnuts are roasting on the sun-warmed sidewalk, and tiny tots are in their strollers crying like hell. It’s Christmastime in Miami, and... More >>

  • You’re the Twilight of My Life

    published December 3, 2009

    Have you ever heard the sound of a tween girl screaming? It’s lengthy and piercing, effortlessly fading in and out of dog-whistle decibel... More >>

  • Teese Her Into Signing Your Book

    published December 3, 2009

    Olives, vermouth, and a raven-haired bombshell. Shake. Dita Von Teese, one of the dolls at the forefront of the nouveaux burlesque... More >>

  • He's in love with a stripper. Me.

    published December 3, 2009

    Magic City Kitty: He's in love with a stripper. Me. More >>

  • Get Your Own Work of Art into Basel

    published Nov 25, 2009

    Being one of the premiere art festivals of the year, not just any Joe Blow can show during Art Basel. You'd need connections, talent, or...a pack of markers, a glue gun, and some stray sequins. This y... More >>

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