Email Author Michael E. Miller

2012 Stories by Michael E. Miller

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  FEATURED STORY

  How Mitt Romney Can Win Florida's Hearts and Minds: Kidnap Castro, Bake Croquetas

  published Oct 09, 2012

  Mitt Romney made Barack Obama his bitch during last week's presidential debate. He lied and obfuscated; flip-flopped and feigned outrage; flapped his finely manicured hands and blamed Obama for allege... More >>

• How Mitt Romney Can Win Florida: Tie Fidel Castro to His Car's Roof

  published October 11, 2012

  How Mitt Romney Can Win Florida: Tie Fidel Castro to His Car's Roof More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Mitt Romney Wins First Debate By Being a Ballsy, Big Bird-Killing Bullsh*t Artist

  published Oct 04, 2012

  As Walter Cronkite once said: "Well, that debate was one flaming pile of rancid cat shit."*For those of you who didn't suffer through last night's 90-minute cojone-eating contest between Mitt Romney a... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Sex and Drugs in the Champagne Room: The Truth About Porky's and Other Miami Strip Clubs

  published Oct 03, 2012

  "No matter what a stripper tells you," Chris Rock once sang, "There's no sex in the Champagne Room." Rock had obviously never been to a strip club here in Miami. As this week's feature on notorious Hi... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  From Porky's to Panama Prison, Tony Galeota Reveals Miami's Mob-Run Prostitution Industry

  published Oct 02, 2012

  In January, I wrote about an amazing high-tech submarine race to the bottom of the ocean. In the story, I mentioned how a Hialeah strip club called Porky's had once been the staging ground for an incr... More >>

• Bikini Basketball and Other Florida Sports You Can Get Excited About

  published October 4, 2012

  Florida Sports You Can Get Excited About More >>

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  COVER STORY

  Tony Galeota: From Running Porky's, Miami's Most Notorious Strip Joint, to Rotting in a Panamanian Jail

  published October 4, 2012

  Tony Galeota: From Running Porky's, Miami's Most Notorious Strip Joint, to Rotting in a Panamanian Jail See also: " More >>

• Sweet Jesus The Dolphins Suck: Here Are Four Sports You Should Watch Instead

  published Oct 01, 2012

  Now is the season of Miami's discontent, thanks to our terrible local teams. The Dolphins are a joke. The Marlins are even worse than last year. The University of Miami Hurricanes aren't much better, ... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Marlins Give Second Chance to Adam Greenberg, Beaned In His Only MLB At-Bat

  published Sep 28, 2012

  Sports teams are like Hollywood movies: sometimes they can be so bad they're actually good. Such is the case with the Miami Marlins, who are quickly becoming the Snakes on a Plane of professional base... More >>

• Joe Garcia Releases Campaign Video Featuring Otis Wallace, South Florida's Shadiest Mayor

  published Sep 26, 2012

  In any sane world, Democratic congressional candidate Joe Garcia would easily defeat Republican Rep. David Rivera this November. Rivera has been called the most corrupt politician in Washington, and i... More >>

• Rapper Alex "Rube" Rubin Blasts Mitt Romney on Behalf of the 305 in Latest Video

  published Sep 25, 2012

  Alex "Rube" Rubin doesn't have a legion of fans breathlessly awaiting his next single -- at least not yet. He's just a white guy living in a mostly Hispanic city using hip-hop to back our black presid... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Miami Marlins Take Timeout From Sucking To Dress Up As Water Polo Players In Times Square

  published Sep 21, 2012

  When it comes to sports, there is a long and storied tradition of punking rookies. First-year professional ballers have being forced to wear Justin Bieber backpacks or had their SUVs filled with popco... More >>

• Seven Signs Miami Is The Fakest City in America

  published Sep 14, 2012

  Only in Miami could our inboxes be flooded with press releases like this Wednesday's police announcement: "Clandestine Dentist Arrested." Oh, thank God, you say. Then you think, what kind of a city ha... More >>

• Celebration, Florida's First Murder Victim Sexually Abused Miami Beach Kids, Report Says

  published Sep 12, 2012

  The brutal 2010 murder of Matteo Patrick Giovanditto was doubly shocking. It was the first killing in the idyllic, planned community of Celebration, Florida -- built by The Walt Disney Company near Di... More >>

• Miami-Dade Cops Shot Four People for Using Cars as Deadly Weapons

  published September 13, 2012

  Miami-Dade Cops Shot Four People for Using Cars as Deadly Weapons Miami-Dade Cops Use Deadly Force on Four People for Using Cars as Deadly Weapons More >>

• Do Porn Companies "Blackmail" Illegal Downloaders?

  published September 13, 2012

  Do Porn Companies "Blackmail" Illegal Downloaders? More >>

• Dead Drivers: Four Shootings This Year Raise Questions About Miami-Dade Police Protocol

  published Sep 10, 2012

  Charles William Collins was a career drug dealer and petty thief. Miami-Dade police knew as much when two undercover cops followed him into a bright-yellow pawnshop on NW Seventh Avenue in Liberty Cit... More >>

• Florida Socialist Workers Party Denied Spot on State Ballot, Blames Rick Scott's Election Law

  published Sep 07, 2012

  If Fox News anchors are right (they're not) and Barack Obama is secretly a socialist (he isn't), the president sure is doing a pretty shitty job spreading his collectivist creed in the Sunshine State.... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Charlie Crist Says Obama "Saved Florida": Republicans Fume, Democrats Shrug

  published Sep 07, 2012

  Last night, Charlie Crist completed his nasty two-year break-up with conservatives. When he strolled onto the DNC set in Charlotte, the Republican establishment he once belonged to collectively winced... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  DNC 2012: Julian Castro Speech Makes for Some Awkward Signs

  published Sep 05, 2012

  Republicans are pros at pandering. When they come to Miami, they always appear at Versailles Cafe and rage about the Cuban regime. And, of course, they held their convention in Tampa last week in an e... More >>

• Three Lessons Democrats Can Learn From the RNC

  published September 6, 2012

  Lessons Democrats Can Learn From the RNC More >>

• DNC 2012: Three Lessons Democrats Can Learn From Republicans' Florida Fiasco

  published Sep 04, 2012

  For the first time in decades, all of America can finally agree on something: Clint Eastwood has gone completely batshit insane. This was the real legacy of last week's Republican National Convention ... More >>

• Emilio Palacio, Ecuadorian Journalist, Granted Political Asylum in the United States

  published Aug 30, 2012

  Read our article on the free-speech fight that forced Palacio to flee his country.Ecuadorian journalist Emilio Palacio -- sentenced last year to three years in prison for denouncing President Rafael C... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  RNC 2012 Day Two: Doe-Eyed Kid Takes Stage, Talks About AC/DC, Vows Not to Kill Old People

  published Aug 30, 2012

  On Tuesday, the GOP ended the first day of its national convention by letting Chris Christie pummel Ann Romney's message of love to death with his meaty, angry fists like a Garden State mob goon. Last... More >>

• Smarte Carte Likely to Get New County Contract Despite Finger-Severing Accidents at MIA

  published Aug 28, 2012

  Read our original story about another finger-severing Smarte Carte accident at MIA.Marina Sammartino is a sweet 77-year-old Argentine abuelita. But ask her about Miami International Airport and she li... More >>