rss Email Author Kirk Nielsen


  • 2006 - Sunshine State Awards/South Florida Society of Professional Journalists, published April 28, 2005

    "Fake Art, Real Money"

2000 Stories by Kirk Nielsen

Archives: 2014 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003 | 2002 | 2001 | 2000 | 1999 | 1998 | 1997
  • Lots of Contention

    published November 30, 2000

    Fifteen years from now, part of downtown Miami could look like Times Square. At least that's what Jacob Sopher believes. And, right or wrong, what... More >>

  • Packed, Stacked, and Hijacked

    published November 23, 2000

    It might be called the Andy Hancock Review Board, even though its official name is the Outdoor Advertising Review Board (OARB). Hancock is the... More >>

  • If Skateboards Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Skateboards

    published November 2, 2000

    Skateboarding is a great Miami pastime. For devoted aficionados there is no more idyllic a place for it than the “Rooftops,” a series of concre... More >>

  • The Children's Museum, Inc.

    published October 12, 2000

    Hey, kids, guess what? After four years without a home, your Miami Children's Museum may have... More >>

  • Spoiled Island

    published September 21, 2000

    Development dreams and political schemes have a way of running aground on Watson Island. And they may be heading that way again soon. Since April... More >>

  • Less for Moore, Part 2

    published September 21, 2000

    Just when it seemed the wheels of economic justice in Miami-Dade County had ground to a halt, they began revolving again -- at least for thirteen... More >>

  • A Hole So Foul

    published September 7, 2000

    Craig Grossenbacher still can't believe his eyes when he looks at the aerial photograph and sees a five-acre swath of sea grass gouged out from... More >>

  • The Energizer

    published August 17, 2000

    With an air of nobility, a dose of hustle, and a boundless desire to save the world from air pollution, Robin Zachary Parker sits down to an... More >>

  • The Cheat Is On

    published August 3, 2000

    When the Miami Heat's latest vision of the American Airlines Arena complex hit the New Times newsroom, the place went bonkers. “I a... More >>

  • A Sign of Victory

    published July 20, 2000

    After fifteen years of myopia, Miami officials are once again protecting your peepers. During the past two months, zoning inspectors have issued... More >>

  • Anatomy of a Quarantine

    published July 6, 2000

    Mabel is just another member of the fruit-loving resistance. A 54-year-old snowbird who long ago moved south from Greendale, New York, to... More >>

  • Dredge Dirge

    published June 22, 2000

    Picture King Kong, belly bulging from his diet of lead, mercury, and cadmium cakes, splashing across Biscayne Bay and proceeding to wade up the... More >>

  • The Dealmaker

    published June 8, 2000

    Because this is her typical morning, Edie Laquer is a very unusual woman. She arises from the exquisitely carved wooden bed in her opulent Coconut... More >>

  • Signs of Negligence

    published June 1, 2000

    In March New Times made two unsettling discoveries. At least 31 billboards (21 of them illegal) along I-95, I-395, and I-195 clutter the... More >>

  • Sew Shall She Reap

    published April 20, 2000

    Renee Osceola was born in a swamp, saved by a medicine man, and raised in a place where people insisted that green things were blue. On a recent... More >>

  • The Sanchez Solution

    published April 13, 2000

    In the five months that followed his miraculous arrival in the Magic City, Elian Gonzalez became the poster child of Miami's Cuban community. As... More >>

  • Everywhere a Sign

    published March 23, 2000

    Everyone knows the Magic City's expressways are ever-more exciting these days. Drivers who zigzag at high speeds experience the biggest adrenaline... More >>

  • Schmooze It or Lose It

    published March 9, 2000

    Francisco Diaz is smiling mischievously as he winds his way between several dozen men and women dressed in business suits, who have jammed into a... More >>

  • In the Rough

    published February 24, 2000

    A round of golf is usually just a round of golf. Of course a guy like Tiger Woods can make a lot of money at it. But for most players it's just a... More >>

  • The Perfect Scam

    published February 3, 2000

    In an obscure corner of the Port of Miami, a floodlight haze surrounds a huge tiki hut, where two men from a faraway land sit at a picnic table... More >>

  • A River Runs Near It

    published January 20, 2000

    The erection of a large, pink, ugly thing in plain view of Miami city offices is provoking disgust and outrage among some neighbors and city... More >>

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