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2009 Stories by JOE LAPIN

Archives: 2011 | 2010 | 2009
  • Put Them on the Naughty List

    published December 24, 2009

    Bing Crosby, sugar-plum fairies, Dad carving the turkey — bah-freaking-humbug. Are you the type of person who wants to smash your... More >>

  • Look Ma, No Teeth!

    published December 3, 2009

    If you’ve been gorging yourself with Slim Jims and Mountain Dew your mom bought so you can feel EXTREME, you’ve probably never actually... More >>

  • Pump Up the Jams

    published November 19, 2009

    After a long week of writing TPS reports and suffering through discussions about a prolonged recession, you’ll need to recharge, refresh, and... More >>

  • Belly Up to the Word Bar

    published October 22, 2009

    If Allen Ginsberg had to attend a conference in Miami on how to really use finger cymbals, he might be a little confused about where to find a... More >>

  • Def Poets Society

    published October 15, 2009

    Remember your boring high school English teacher, Ms. Hippobottom? Remember how she crammed your head with the formulas for villanelles, sestinas,... More >>

  • It’s Fall, Time to Ball

    published October 8, 2009

    It’s officially fall. The weather is cooling to 80 degrees, mosquitoes are dying, and everyone is beginning to talk about the Miami... More >>

  • Reading Really Is Fundamental

    published October 1, 2009

    Where are the future masters of American literature? Maybe they’re living in caves until they must say goodbye to the wolves that raised... More >>

  • Gypsies Minus the Fila Tracksuits

    published September 24, 2009

    Think of illustrious musical gypsies of the past, such as Django Reinhardt and Jimi Hendrix. Now imagine a band that’s like a mix between... More >>

  • Straight, with Chaser

    published September 17, 2009

    Imagine yourself in the courtyard of Books & Books in Coral Gables as the moon reflects off your glass of Pinot Grigio. You’re listening to... More >>

  • Why Don't We Do It in the Road?

    published September 3, 2009

    When was the last time you did something nice for someone else in bed? How about in front of 15,000 screaming spectators? Put away the cookies and... More >>

  • Great Scot

    published August 27, 2009

    If you listen to the radio, you might have heard the voice of Paolo Nutini. Hits such as "New Shoes" and "Last Request" have been getting... More >>

  • Truth, Distilled

    published August 20, 2009

    In the Magic City humidity, a Bacardi mojito is the ultimate refreshment. Why? Because besides mint, rum, and club soda, the concoction hosts some... More >>

  • Would You Like a Song with That Steak?

    published August 13, 2009

    Jazz, Latin, and Afro-Cuban bands anchored by a window-shattering voice have produced countless superstars: Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, Celia... More >>

  • Cure for Board-em

    published July 30, 2009

    The third annual Red Bull Manny Mania is a contest including 50 local amateur skateboarders who compete for $7,000 in prizes as well as... More >>

  • The Creature Formerly Known as Caterpillar

    published July 23, 2009

    Mimosa yellow. Painted lady. You might think these are frozen drinks garnished with orange twists, but they’re actually butterflies. You know... More >>

  • The New Girl from Ipanema

    published July 16, 2009

    If you’re looking for an escape from the American pop dungeon, head to Lincoln Road this Saturday. Ignore the “Boom Boom Pow”... More >>

  • Just When You Thought It Was Safe

    published July 9, 2009

    We’re going to need a bigger boat. In fact, we’re probably going to require an oil tanker, and Richard Dreyfuss should start pounding... More >>

Archives: 2011 | 2010 | 2009
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