Email Author Jacob Katel

2011 Stories by Jacob Katel

• Top Five Fan-Made Miami Heat Rally Songs and Videos for the 2011 NBA Finals

  published May 31, 2011

  Damn near everybody in Wade County knows wassup. It's time to put Dallas in the furnace, turn the Heat up, and watch em' burn, baby! Burn!And since we the best and all, here are the five best new fan-... More >>

• Homeless Rap Outside Stone Groove at The Vagabond

  published May 31, 2011

  All of the lights in Downtown Miami are on and a rapper daps up a guy in the audience and goes into his verse:"Another brother got shot dead in the stone, pushin' the dope, stackin' the cheese. Now he... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Weezy! Jeezy! Drizzy! The 305's Five Best Parties for Memorial Day Weekend 2011

  published May 27, 2011

  During Memorial Day weekend in Miami, even if it doesn't rain, there will be a perfect storm of liquor, music, and dancing from South Beach to downtown, and up I-95 to King Of Diamonds -- not to menti... More >>

• Thursday Night's Top Five Memorial Day Weekend Parties

  published May 26, 2011

  Memorial Day weekend is officially here. And you know what that meansr More ass on the beach than grains of sand, so much liquor you can't feel your face, and so many parties you can't even decide w... More >>

• Election Day Photos From Miami

  published May 25, 2011

  On a scorcher of a day in Miami, voting centers in Miami Gardens, North Miami, South Beach, Legion Park, and Liberty City were hardly a hotbed of activity.Few voters wandered in to the precincts we vi... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Test Your Pimp Game With Trick Daddy and Don Magic Juan at the Miami Players Ball

  published May 25, 2011

  In Trick Daddy's book about his life, Magic City: Trials Of A Native Son, he talks about the evolution of the urban hustle. Before the dope boy, there was the pimp, a slick talkin' motherfucker who ... More >>

• Jump Into the Pit With Angerfest 2011 at Churchill's Pub Tomorrow Night

  published May 25, 2011

  Anger Lives! Miami Cuban hardcore represent. These musical thugs have been beating up the pit for so many years that the first 13-year-old kid who moshed to their music now has grandkids. We're not s... More >>

• Get Your Machete and Go Meet Local Outlaw Americana Crew Los Bastardos Magnificos

  published May 24, 2011

  Don't know local outlaw Americana crew Los Bastardos Magnificosr Well, there were about 100 years between the Civil War and the Mariel Boatlift when Miami was more characterized by its Southern herit... More >>

• Memorial Day weekend parties in Miami, May 27 to 29

  published May 26, 2011

  Memorial Day weekend parties in Miami, May 27 to 29 More >>

• Does Julio Robaina Buy Black Candidatesr Luther Campbell Says Yes

  published May 20, 2011

  Julio Robaina is like a Cuban Fonzie, the dude stays cool under pressure. But that doesn't mean he isn't up to no good.At the liveliest public forum we've seen so far in the County Mayor's race, the N... More >>

• Comedy for Fools

  published May 19, 2011

  We usually get so drunk and high on Memorial Day weekend that we forget what happened. We have the odd flashback of doing tequila shots with a... More >>

• Cali Swag District's M-Bone Dead in Drive-By Shooting

  published May 16, 2011

  RIP Montae Talbert (AKA M-Bone), aged 22, and respect to his family. We are sorry for the tragic loss of the talented artist.No matter how smooth he was, M-Bone couldn't Dougie his way out of two head... More >>

• Uncle Sam Endorses Uncle Luke in New Campaign Commercial

  published May 16, 2011

  Gabrielle Redfern could probably pull it off, but If Carlos Gimenez, Roosevelt Bradley, Marcelo Llorente, Julio Robaina, or Jose "Pepe" Cancio hit the streets of downtown Miami at 2 a.m. and went to a... More >>

• Vehicular Violence

  published May 12, 2011

  A seven-trey Chevrolet rolls up to a ’66 Bonneville, spits on its windshield, kicks it in the rims, rips off its spoiler, breaks an axle, and... More >>

• Livicated to Bob Marley, Who Died In Miami 30 Years Ago Today

  published May 11, 2011

  Smoke pon de chalawa. Three decades ago today, Bob Marley's essence floated off into the most high like a purple cloud of ganja smoke.We won't get into the details of his death, except to say: Let's... More >>

• Lil Jon's a Beverage Pimp and Five Other Quick Facts About the Godfather of Crunk

  published May 09, 2011

  Lil Jon, even Donald Trump respects his hustle. But the master of Crunk is more than just your favorite celebrity apprentice. And this Wednesday night at LIV, the Atlanta-based business mogul will b... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Top Five Cinco De Mayo 2011 Parties in Miami

  published May 05, 2011

  We the People thank Mexico for all they've given us. Like, Texas, Arizona, and yeah, New Mexico. They didn't actually give us all that land, you sayr Fuhgeddaboutit, we're taking their holidays too.Me... More >>

• T-Pain and Jay Sean Autotune the Ass Off Marlins Super Saturdays

  published May 04, 2011

  It's Saturday night. The Marlins just smacked the hell out of the Nationals. And now you need autotune. And lots of it. Luckily, Teddy Paine is in the building. His Cash Money buddy Jay Sean is the... More >>

• Deaf Poets Bring the Noise With Heartline Fits at The Stage for Rebel Run Tuesdays

  published May 02, 2011

  What's got six strings, four hands, a kit full of skins, and a fuzz boxr The Deaf Poets, a two-man band from the MIA featuring guitarist-songwriter Sean Wouters and drummer Nicolas Espinosa.The duo'... More >>

• Pyramid Schemes

  published April 28, 2011

  Beneath that perfect smile, flat tummy, shapely hips, and dancer's thighs beats the heart of an ass-shaking warrior. And by the time you see the... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Of Michael Putney, Uncle Luke, the KKK, and Marco Rubio (Video)

  published Apr 28, 2011

  News flash: Old white guy confuses KKK with NAACP.So, is veteran TV reporter Michael Putney uncomfortable with the sight of two black candidates running for Miami-Dade County mayorrA factual error mad... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Top Five Miami Karaoke Nights in Honor of National Karaoke Week

  published Apr 26, 2011

  Karaoke ... Miami fuckin' loves that shit. And right now, it's time to celebrate. This is National Karaoke Week, people. Yes, the art of performance over pre-recorded instrumentals has its own holid... More >>

• Guinness with Guerrillas

  published April 21, 2011

  The wilderness is tough for a real party animal. One time our friend the zebra walked into a bar and asked, “Can I get a red stripe?”... More >>

• Beatles vs. Rolling Stones at Van Dyke Cafe April 25

  published Apr 18, 2011

  Who would win a bare-knuckle cage fight between Ringo Starr and Keith Richardsr We're not sure. Richards has survived every narcotic known to man, and Ringo is the greatest pop music drummer ever. We'... More >>

• Wayne's World

  published April 14, 2011

  Before Wayne Brady’s dinner-theater shows this weekend, will he pull a drive-by, “choke a bitch,” or snap a street... More >>