Email Author Jacob Katel

2010 Stories by Jacob Katel

• Satan's Enchanted Forest

  published October 28, 2010

  Even the Antichrist loves Santa’s Enchanted Forest at Tropical Park. Hey, switch a couple of letters in the fat man’s name, and... More >>

• Driven to Misdeed

  published October 28, 2010

  Back in the day, we yanked the catalytic converter out of our gas-guzzling Pontiac for extra horsepower. And every time we drive past a pack of... More >>

• Stoned on Steel

  published October 21, 2010

  West Perrine is rough. From the Circle Plaza Projects to the Dada 5000 fight compound, choppers, yard boys, and black flags rule. The population,... More >>

• Claustrophobes Beware

  published October 14, 2010

  Not long ago, our iPhone fell in a ditch, and when we climbed down to save it, we tripped on a shovel. Mountains of earth collapsed on us, and... More >>

• Big Pimpin' at Gusman

  published October 14, 2010

  “Yeah, I bet I disgust some of you black women out there, but every boy out there on them streets wants to be just like me. A player. An... More >>

• Top Five Rock Star Criminals: From Rick James to Norwegian Black Metal

  published Oct 14, 2010

  Rock stars and jail-time go together like bars and stripes, weed and whiskey, hookers and cocaine. No wonder so many of our musical heroes end up in trouble with the law.Like Miami's own Against All A... More >>

• ¡Mayday!'s Stuck on an Island Free Full Album Stream

  published Oct 13, 2010

  ... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Miami Music Festival Announces Full Lineup and Venue List

  published Oct 12, 2010

  No live music scene in Miamir You're wrong and the Miami Music Festival is here to prove it, incontrovertibly, with more than 400 performances across 45 stages from downtown to the Gables, from Groves... More >>

• Fifi's Record Shop celebrates 30 years in Little Haiti

  published October 14, 2010

  Fifi's Record Shop celebrates 30 years in Little Haiti More >>

• Death, Like a Tiger

  published October 7, 2010

  In South Dade, entrails swing from tree limbs slimed with pancreatic juices that drip into puddles of bile. The Devil loves your sodden, rotten... More >>

• Krave Drawings

  published October 7, 2010

  Ever walk into an art gallery, see something like a pile of beer cans tied together with piano wire floating in a puddle of soup, and wonder what... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Ten Sweet and Sleazy Rock Star Sex Stories

  published Oct 04, 2010

  The Grand Funk Railroad song "We're an American Band" opens with the lines: "Out on the road for forty days/Last night in Little Rock, put me in a haze/Sweet, sweet Connie was doin' her act/She had th... More >>

• Chelsea's Kids

  published September 30, 2010

  Comedians are usually neurotic, drug-addled, alcoholic hooker-bangers who smoke too much and eat lots of junk food. In other words, they’re... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Top Ten Songs For Smoking Weed

  published Sep 27, 2010

  In the great words of ... Wait, who said that, duder Who said that stuff about the weedr And the musicr And how they go togetherr and how one makes the other betterr But they're both still awesome by ... More >>

• Socavivor's Dag Talks Madhouse, Big Pun, Elephant Man, and the Future

  published Sep 27, 2010

  South Florida's 21st century dancehall, soca, and hip-hop party scene can be described in one word: Madhouse. That's the name of the weekly party started on Key Biscayne in the early millennium and ke... More >>

• Cold-Blooded Race

  published September 23, 2010

  In China, dragons are revered for their potent life force, weather-controlling ability, and iconic graphic value — not to mention their knack... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Top 10 Football Gambling Foods

  published Sep 22, 2010

  Gambling is one of the greatest highlights of football season. Got a dozen bets running every Sundayr Risk your car payment on whether a college quarterback would run or throw his first TDr Trying to ... More >>

• Dead in the Water

  published September 16, 2010

  As soon as the Man gets the chance, he’ll sell Biscayne Bay out from under us and use it as a county dump. Imagine old motel mattresses,... More >>

• Top 10 Murdered Musicians You've Never Heard Of

  published Sep 14, 2010

  Dead rock stars are a dime a dozen. They usually drink themselves to death, overdose on narcotics, crash cars, or get on faulty aircrafts with drunk pilots on drugs who crash cars. But murdered musici... More >>

• Tempo Tantrum

  published September 9, 2010

  We’ve been up all night, furiously burning rubber over highways and back roads, derailing dawn’s sunlit offensive. Can you taste the... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  How to Stage a Hunger Strike Like Aida Fernandez

  published Sep 03, 2010

  Aida Fernandez is staging a hunger strike in a tent on her Hibiscus Farm in the protected wetlands of South Dade near Chekika Park in the Everglades. We found her event through a hand-painted neon sig... More >>

• Punch a Cop

  published September 2, 2010

  We don’t necessarily hate cops. Last week, a nice policeman helped us chase a crackhead down Biscayne Boulevard after an incident involving... More >>

• Donkey Puncher

  published July 15, 2010

  Patrice O’Neal might tell Miami how to perform a sex act called the chicken cutlet. It involves sand, a wet member, and —... More >>

• Miami Graffiti: Wynwood's Original Gangsta Wall

  published Jul 14, 2010

  The Original Gangsta wall is at 21st Street at NW 1st Court.... More >>

• Flo Rida, Poe Boy Music Group "We Already Won" Track Celebrates LeBron, D-Wade, Bosh

  published Jul 13, 2010

  LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh. Triple word score. The Miami Heat are gonna have Biscayne Boulevard locked up bumper to bumper. The Metrorail, bus, and Metromover are gonna be packed like sardi... More >>