rss Email Author Ily Goyanes

2010 Stories by Ily Goyanes

Archives: 2014 | 2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010
  • Too Cutie for Words

    published December 30, 2010

    He is the pimp of priesthood, the rock star of religion, the charismatic collar… well, you get the point. Father Albert Cutie... More >>

  • Four Lions Puts the Fun Back in Terrorism

    published Dec 30, 2010

    ​Terrorists are people too. And they can be as idiotic as the rest of us, if not more so. In the film Four Lions, which opens at the Cosford Cinema on Friday, British humorist Chris Morris compi... More >>

  • Harrison's Sports Grill is Hit or Miss

    published Dec 28, 2010

    I visited Harrison's Sports Grill in search of something specific--namely, the BBQ brisket that I had heard so much about. I was even willing to forgo the brisket for any other barbecued meat they had... More >>

  • Poisonous Plants = Narcotics. But Be Careful!

    published Dec 28, 2010

    ​Miami is a dangerous landscape of poisonous fauna. Some of us know that "poisonous" translates to "trippy". So, when you read about people dying from eating poisonous mushrooms, flowers, plants, an... More >>

  • 48. Alette Simmons-Jimenez

    published Dec 28, 2010

    In honor of our MasterMind genius awards, Cultist proudly presents "100 Creatives," where we feature Miami's cultural superheroes in random order. Have suggestions for future profiles? Email cultist@m... More >>

  • 49. Tawnie Silva

    published Dec 27, 2010

    In honor of our MasterMind genius awards, Cultist proudly presents "100 Creatives," where we feature Miami's cultural superheroes in random order. Have suggestions for future profiles? Email cultist@m... More >>

  • Al-Qaeda: Poison the Food, Don't Toss the Bombs!

    published Dec 24, 2010

    ​Terrorists know how to hit us where it hurts.Al-Qaeda bombed the World Trade Center, two shiny, towering examples of American capitalism. WTC was chosen partially because it was in New York, Americ... More >>

  • Walk This Gay

    published December 23, 2010

    Celebrate your fabulousness by embarking on the new Gay and Lesbian Walking Tour of South Beach, a collaborative effort between the Miami-Dade Gay... More >>

  • Robot Servers Won't Say Please and Domo Arigato

    published Dec 22, 2010

    ​For once, America seems to have one upped Japan in technology.The Dalu Robot Restaurant in Jinan, in China's northern Shandong Providence, is using robots to serve their patrons. Yes--the servers a... More >>

  • Milly's Restaurant, Recommended by the Florida Marlins & Chef Doreen Colondres

    published Dec 22, 2010

    ​One of the bloggers here at Short Order recently wrote to Santa about the quality of service in Miami restaurants -- noting that we don't have any and we would really like some. Unfortunately, this... More >>

  • Green Dean's Purple Carrots, Black Radishes at The Forge, JB Kitchen and More

    published Dec 20, 2010

    ​​Mr. Green Dean is quite elusive.It was hard to get the farmer of exotic vegetables to answer our interview questions. And forget about a picture of him or even his full real name beyond, "My nam... More >>

  • 55. Paul Tei

    published Dec 17, 2010

    In honor of our MasterMind genius awards, Cultist proudly presents "100 Creatives," where we feature Miami's cultural superheroes in random order. Have suggestions for future profiles? Email cultist@m... More >>

  • New BargainBite Site Better Than Bungee Jumping

    published Dec 15, 2010

    ​We must have been good this year!There is a new website that offers major discounts (how does 30 percent off your bill sound?) at some of the best restaurants in Miami. BargainBite.com is kind of l... More >>

  • Food Network Star Convicted of Hiring Homeless Men to Kill His Wife for $500

    published Dec 14, 2010

    ​This morning, when I first heard that a Food Network star had been arrested and sentenced to jail, I figured that either Rachael Ray or Guy Fieri had finally been charged with prostitution. Instea... More >>

  • Christian Bale, Calista Flockhart, Michael Moore Need Weight Loss Intervention

    published Dec 11, 2010

    With New Year's Day only a few weeks away, weight problems are on everybody's mind. And, while normal folk have people who love, help, and support them through dietary lifestyle changes, most celebrit... More >>

  • A Moveable Feast

    published December 9, 2010

    Local food maven Linda Gassenheimer’s new book The Flavors of the Florida Keys contains recipes for fish and Key lime cookies... More >>

  • 61. Elena Garcia
    FEATURED STORY

    61. Elena Garcia

    published Dec 09, 2010

    In honor of our MasterMind genius awards, Cultist proudly presents "100 Creatives," where we feature Miami's cultural superheroes in random order. Have suggestions for future profiles? Email cultist@m... More >>

  • 62. Summer Hill

    published Dec 08, 2010

    In honor of our MasterMind genius awards, Cultist proudly presents "100 Creatives," where we feature Miami's cultural superheroes in random order. Have suggestions for future profiles? Email cultist@m... More >>

  • BK Employee: The 261 Lay-Offs Were Just Fat Cats

    published Dec 08, 2010

    ​By now you may have heard of the 261 Burger King employees that were laid off in South Florida. Well, the private equity firm 3G Capital, which took over our beloved BK (McDonald's = Death), has de... More >>

  • Burger King Gives 2,688 Kinects, Who Says the K Ain't Santa?

    published Dec 06, 2010

    Last month, Burger King gave away 2,688 Xbox Kinect packages. Why such an odd number? The company was delivering one prize package every fifteen minutes throughout November.When purchasing select prod... More >>

  • 64. Juan Navarro

    published Dec 06, 2010

    In honor of our MasterMind genius awards, Cultist proudly presents "100 Creatives," where we feature Miami's cultural superheroes in random order. Have suggestions for future profiles? Email cultist@m... More >>

  • Food Sitcoms on Cockroaches, Ex-cons, And Rappers

    published Dec 03, 2010

    ​Some opinions are still acceptable in our increasingly politically correct social climate. While most people wouldn't dare make a joke about the handicapped, African-Americans, or newborns, it is s... More >>

  • Artist Maria Builes Jogs While Wearing 60 Lbs. of Animal Fat

    published Dec 03, 2010

    ​Artist Maria Builes wants to make sure you are tuned in to Twitter today. The location for her Art Basel pop-up exhibit, "Satiation," will be announced only on the day of and only through tweets.&n... More >>

  • Back in Bach

    published December 2, 2010

    When you think of an orchestra, you think of penguin suits and maybe even Centrum Silver. Well, how about an orchestra that you can bang your head... More >>

  • French Food Fight

    published December 2, 2010

    Not only are the French one-of-a-kind eccentrics, but they also have Americans completely beat when it comes to food fights. No, not those... More >>

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