Email Author Ily Goyanes

2010 Stories by Ily Goyanes

• Too Cutie for Words

  published December 30, 2010

  He is the pimp of priesthood, the rock star of religion, the charismatic collar… well, you get the point. Father Albert Cutie... More >>

• Four Lions Puts the Fun Back in Terrorism

  published Dec 30, 2010

  rTerrorists are people too. And they can be as idiotic as the rest of us, if not more so. In the film Four Lions, which opens at the Cosford Cinema on Friday, British humorist Chris Morris compile... More >>

• Harrison's Sports Grill is Hit or Miss

  published Dec 28, 2010

  I visited Harrison's Sports Grill in search of something specific--namely, the BBQ brisket that I had heard so much about. I was even willing to forgo the brisket for any other barbecued meat they had... More >>

• Poisonous Plants = Narcotics. But Be Careful!

  published Dec 28, 2010

  Miami is a dangerous landscape of poisonous fauna. Some of us know that "poisonous" translates to "trippy". So, when you read about people dying from eating poisonous mushrooms, flowers, plants, and s... More >>

• 48. Alette Simmons-Jimenez

  published Dec 28, 2010

  In honor of our MasterMind genius awards, Cultist proudly presents "100 Creatives," where we feature Miami's cultural superheroes in random order. Have suggestions for future profilesr Email cultist@m... More >>

• 49. Tawnie Silva

  published Dec 27, 2010

  In honor of our MasterMind genius awards, Cultist proudly presents "100 Creatives," where we feature Miami's cultural superheroes in random order. Have suggestions for future profilesr Email cultist@m... More >>

• Al-Qaeda: Poison the Food, Don't Toss the Bombs!

  published Dec 24, 2010

  Terrorists know how to hit us where it hurts.Al-Qaeda bombed the World Trade Center, two shiny, towering examples of American capitalism. WTC was chosen partially because it was in New York, America's... More >>

• Walk This Gay

  published December 23, 2010

  Celebrate your fabulousness by embarking on the new Gay and Lesbian Walking Tour of South Beach, a collaborative effort between the Miami-Dade Gay... More >>

• Robot Servers Won't Say Please and Domo Arigato

  published Dec 22, 2010

  For once, America seems to have one upped Japan in technology.The Dalu Robot Restaurant in Jinan, in China's northern Shandong Providence, is using robots to serve their patrons. Yes--the servers at D... More >>

• Milly's Restaurant, Recommended by the Florida Marlins & Chef Doreen Colondres

  published Dec 22, 2010

  One of the bloggers here at Short Order recently wrote to Santa about the quality of service in Miami restaurants -- noting that we don't have any and we would really like some. Unfortunately, this is... More >>

• Green Dean's Purple Carrots, Black Radishes at The Forge, JB Kitchen and More

  published Dec 20, 2010

  rMr. Green Dean is quite elusive.It was hard to get the farmer of exotic vegetables to answer our interview questions. And forget about a picture of him or even his full real name beyond, "My name is ... More >>

• 55. Paul Tei

  published Dec 17, 2010

  In honor of our MasterMind genius awards, Cultist proudly presents "100 Creatives," where we feature Miami's cultural superheroes in random order. Have suggestions for future profilesr Email cultist@m... More >>

• New BargainBite Site Better Than Bungee Jumping

  published Dec 15, 2010

  We must have been good this year!There is a new website that offers major discounts (how does 30 percent off your bill soundr) at some of the best restaurants in Miami. BargainBite.com is kind of like... More >>

• Food Network Star Convicted of Hiring Homeless Men to Kill His Wife for $500

  published Dec 14, 2010

  This morning, when I first heard that a Food Network star had been arrested and sentenced to jail, I figured that either Rachael Ray or Guy Fieri had finally been charged with prostitution. Instead I... More >>

• Christian Bale, Calista Flockhart, Michael Moore Need Weight Loss Intervention

  published Dec 11, 2010

  With New Year's Day only a few weeks away, weight problems are on everybody's mind. And, while normal folk have people who love, help, and support them through dietary lifestyle changes, most celebrit... More >>

• A Moveable Feast

  published December 9, 2010

  Local food maven Linda Gassenheimer’s new book The Flavors of the Florida Keys contains recipes for fish and Key lime cookies... More >>

• 

  FEATURED STORY

  61. Elena Garcia

  published Dec 09, 2010

  In honor of our MasterMind genius awards, Cultist proudly presents "100 Creatives," where we feature Miami's cultural superheroes in random order. Have suggestions for future profilesr Email cultist@m... More >>

• 62. Summer Hill

  published Dec 08, 2010

  In honor of our MasterMind genius awards, Cultist proudly presents "100 Creatives," where we feature Miami's cultural superheroes in random order. Have suggestions for future profilesr Email cultist@m... More >>

• BK Employee: The 261 Lay-Offs Were Just Fat Cats

  published Dec 08, 2010

  By now you may have heard of the 261 Burger King employees that were laid off in South Florida. Well, the private equity firm 3G Capital, which took over our beloved BK (McDonald's = Death), has decid... More >>

• Burger King Gives 2,688 Kinects, Who Says the K Ain't Santar

  published Dec 06, 2010

  Last month, Burger King gave away 2,688 Xbox Kinect packages. Why such an odd numberr The company was delivering one prize package every fifteen minutes throughout November.When purchasing select prod... More >>

• 64. Juan Navarro

  published Dec 06, 2010

  In honor of our MasterMind genius awards, Cultist proudly presents "100 Creatives," where we feature Miami's cultural superheroes in random order. Have suggestions for future profilesr Email cultist@m... More >>

• Food Sitcoms on Cockroaches, Ex-cons, And Rappers

  published Dec 03, 2010

  Some opinions are still acceptable in our increasingly politically correct social climate. While most people wouldn't dare make a joke about the handicapped, African-Americans, or newborns, it is safe... More >>

• Artist Maria Builes Jogs While Wearing 60 Lbs. of Animal Fat

  published Dec 03, 2010

  Artist Maria Builes wants to make sure you are tuned in to Twitter today. The location for her Art Basel pop-up exhibit, "Satiation," will be announced only on the day of and only through tweets. ... More >>

• Back in Bach

  published December 2, 2010

  When you think of an orchestra, you think of penguin suits and maybe even Centrum Silver. Well, how about an orchestra that you can bang your head... More >>

• French Food Fight

  published December 2, 2010

  Not only are the French one-of-a-kind eccentrics, but they also have Americans completely beat when it comes to food fights. No, not those... More >>