Email Author Humberto Guida

2004 Stories by Humberto Guida

• Resident Ego

  published October 21, 2004

  Like a comet passing through Miami on its way to Los Angeles, Carlos Arias creates a trail of glitzy stardust. The aggressively ambitious scion of... More >>

• Last Dance

  published August 19, 2004

  On most nights, I'd rather stay home with friends, smoke kryppie, and watch a mean horror movie, the gorier the better. Clubs can become... More >>

• Jail Bait

  published August 12, 2004

  There was a time when Coconut Grove was my hangout of choice. Back then, I worshipped Kurt Cobain, wore ripped corduroys, and shoplifted at every... More >>

• Dive Bar Shenanigans

  published August 5, 2004

  The door to Our Place Lounge & Liquors swung open just as I was about to enter. Out came former Miami Heat player and current assistant coach... More >>

• Nerve Damage

  published July 29, 2004

  Running a club on South Beach is not easy. Ask anybody who has worked at Nerve Lounge. Since its inception last March, Nerve has grown into a... More >>

• Some Friendly

  published July 22, 2004

  Shaquille O'Neal was not at Amika's grand opening this past Friday. I searched and searched for the seven-feet-one NBA superstar, expecting... More >>

• Independence Day Madness

  published July 15, 2004

  A Latin pop singer fronting an underground dance DJ? At Party 93.1's (WPYM-FM) Fourth of July Blast 3.0, Grammy Award-winning crooner Jon Secada... More >>

• Player Haters

  published July 8, 2004

  Can you imagine a city ordinance prohibiting sports jerseys and baseball caps on South Beach? What if the Florida state legislature banned Ladies'... More >>

• In Through the Back Door

  published July 1, 2004

  It’s barely 11:30 p.m. on a recent Monday night and Carmel Ophir is practically panicking. The promoter is worried about the body coun... More >>

• Fete for Liberty

  published July 1, 2004

  Sat 7/3 The enchanting grounds of Vizcaya (3251 S. Miami Ave.) begin Independence Day celebrations ahead of schedule since the... More >>

• Purdy Is As Purdy Does

  published June 24, 2004

  There is a place on South Beach where you can go once you've had enough of the other clubs' hassles, attitude, and twelve-dollar drinks.... More >>

• Club Hopping

  published June 17, 2004

  On a recent Friday night I began my weekend follies walking down Lincoln Road with no itinerary in mind. I was thirsty for my new favorite... More >>

• Dog Day Afternoon

  published June 17, 2004

  SUN 6/20 Dads and dogs are typically two peas in a pod. They're both known to urinate wherever they please, sniff the occasional... More >>

• Tired of the Meat Market? Try the Supermarket

  published June 10, 2004

  Marriage material is something you just don't find much of in clubland. Most party people lack the mindset to settle down, even as they keep their... More >>

• ROK It

  published June 3, 2004

  Look out, because Tommy Lee is now part of the South Beach partyscape. He has officially kicked off his new club ROK Bar after... More >>

• Bad Rap

  published May 27, 2004

  As many as 200,000 visitors, mostly black hip-hop fans, flock to Miami Beach each year during Memorial Day weekend. And even though the... More >>

• 190 Degrees

  published May 20, 2004

  You used to find bastions of bohemia on South Beach; cozy, East Village-style hangouts where original art adorned earth-toned walls and a wobbly... More >>

• Stretched Armstrong

  published May 20, 2004

  SAT 5/22 You're no cynic, but you must admit you loathe the song "What a Wonderful World." And why not? It's only human to be sick of... More >>

• Party Poopers

  published May 13, 2004

  Last week's Miami Beach City Commission meeting was a South Beach-style theater of the absurd. The elderly residents were crabby as... More >>

• Instruments of Commerce

  published May 13, 2004

  TUE 5/18 Your friends snicker at your vast and valuable collection of Precious Moments figurines. But now you have the last... More >>

• Carnal Carnival

  published May 6, 2004

  At the entrance to Miami Velvet, a list of disclaimers is headlined by a forthright suggestion: "If you're offended by sex, please do not... More >>

• Power to the People

  published April 29, 2004

  Most of the time, it seems like you need to be or at least look like a Very Important Person to get into hot clubs in the Magic City. Even joints... More >>

• Sexual Healing

  published April 22, 2004

  On April 8 Playboy magazine held its 50th-anniversary bash at Mansion. It shouldn't surprise anybody that I arrived with my tongue (and... More >>

• Dark Obsession Part Two

  published April 15, 2004

  Carmel Ophir doesn't show up for his Back Door Bamby party at crobar till it's already kicking at about 2:00 a.m. By the time he arrives,... More >>

• Dark Obsession

  published April 8, 2004

  Everything about Nicodemus Hammil and Anitra Warren, from their appearance to the eerie, Venetian-style masks hanging on the white walls of... More >>