rss Email Author Gregory Weinkauf

2003 Stories by Gregory Weinkauf

Archives: 2004 | 2003 | 2002 | 2001 | 2000 | 1999
  • Upper Middle Earth

    published December 18, 2003

    You know how it's often the ones we love whose flaws are most apparent? Well, when it comes to The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the... More >>

  • Time Out of Mind

    published November 27, 2003

    Michael Crichton seems pretty clever. The doctor-screenwriter-novelist digs odd history (Eaters of the Dead, a.k.a. The 13th... More >>

  • Kitty Litter

    published November 20, 2003

    If you're hankering for a movie about an awkward yet lovable "outsider" type who wanders into a pastel mockup of Middle America and cajoles the... More >>

  • Shakedown Cruise

    published November 13, 2003

    Russell Crowe to his agent: "More Oscar-bait. Now." Agent, considering his cut of Crowe's $20 million payday: "Yes, sir." A possible scenario,... More >>

  • Fixin' to Die

    published October 23, 2003

    "I really like the cold -- it makes me feel really alive." There are few more attractive things a woman can say, and when wunderkind Sarah Polley... More >>

  • Greetings to the New Brunette

    published October 9, 2003

    Recently ornithologists in Antarctica made a startling discovery: Female emperor penguins, being forced against their wills to endure stern... More >>

  • Diaper Dreams

    published October 2, 2003

    You gotta love John Sayles. No, really -- you gotta, or else a mob of indie-minded cineastes will club you into submission. Sometimes it's... More >>

  • Ad-libbing on Tokyo Time

    published September 25, 2003

    Visualize Tokyo. Got it? Now add popular favorite Bill Murray, doing his "lovable schmo" shtick. Toss in American Rhapsody's up-and-comer... More >>

  • Angst in Their Pants

    published September 4, 2003

    Most will deny it, but inside every grown man lurks a hypersensitive adolescent girl. Allow me to tell you all about mine and to share some of my... More >>

  • Le Fromage

    published August 21, 2003

    Ah, Paris -- City of Light, of Love, of Liver Damage and Lung Cancer. C'est formidable, non? Who in need of a posh vacation would turn down... More >>

  • No Borders Here

    published August 14, 2003

    Chiwetel Ejiofor is phoning in from Montreal. Sounds like a Tom Waits lyric, but it's true: The fresh, gifted actor with the tricky handle is too... More >>

  • Slight Flub

    published August 14, 2003

    When was the last time you said to yourself: "Y'know, what I seek for my viewing pleasure is a boring, obscenely diluted remake of Fight... More >>

  • I Am Siam

    published July 24, 2003

    If, in keeping with current fads, you seek movies featuring females kicking a bunch of ass, your appetite will be tended (and cultivated) at the... More >>

  • Just Like a Woman

    published July 3, 2003

    What is it with women, anyway? They want to be safe walking the streets at night; they want to be able to trust strangers; they want the world to... More >>

  • The Young Girl and the Sea

    published June 26, 2003

    Once in a while a film comes along that is as sound, smart, sweet, and significant as can be, and Whale Rider is such a film. Fault... More >>

  • Spanish Fly-on-the-Wall

    published June 12, 2003

    French putz Xavier (Romain Duris) is depressed. The poor guy lives in Paris, has Amélie's Audrey Tautou as a girlfriend, eats... More >>

  • Violent Femmes

    published May 1, 2003

    At some fast-approaching point in pop culture evolution, we're due to hit Total Outsider Saturation, wherein everybody is an outsider and... More >>

  • The French Conniption

    published April 17, 2003

    Imagine a large, dead Saint Bernard with its bones removed. Then visualize a hefty bellows inserted into it from behind, with a gorilla hopping up... More >>

  • Girls with Balls

    published April 3, 2003

    It was only in 1967 that Great Britain struck from its jurisprudence the "common scold," essentially a crime of catty insolence for which the... More >>

  • Lost Boys

    published March 27, 2003

    You know how boys love to play soldier? How they get stern-faced and march out to destroy an enemy whom they believe needs destroying? Well,... More >>

  • Bass Ackwards

    published March 27, 2003

    In nature, living things prey upon each other all the time. Humanity, on the other hand, has a choice. It is flouting this choice that excites... More >>

  • Underneath the Bunker

    published March 13, 2003

    Adolf Hitler killed his own dog. Most of his other evil is well documented now, and words alone are inadequate anyway, so let's begin by... More >>

  • Max Factors

    published March 6, 2003

    Hitler as artist ... Hitler as artist ... Damn. So much for the ol' "summarize plot, tease overpaid actors, pontificate wildly" formula.... More >>

  • Hudson Hawked

    published February 6, 2003

    Astaire & Rogers. Hepburn & Tracy. Heck, Ball & Arnaz, Houston & Washington, or Vardalos & Corbett. Over the decades Hollywood has proved that its... More >>

  • Sour Hours

    published January 23, 2003

    It all begins with the word. "I believe I may have a first sentence," murmurs Virginia Woolf (Nicole Kidman) to her husband, Leonard (Stephen... More >>

Archives: 2004 | 2003 | 2002 | 2001 | 2000 | 1999
Loading...