Email Author Elyse Wanshel

Awards

• 2010 - Better Weekly Newspaper Awards/Florida Press Association

  Loon Over Miami

• 2009 - National Society of Newspaper Columnists, published December 25, 2008

  "Strippers XXXmas"

• 2009 - National Society of Newspaper Columnists, published October 23, 2008

  "Giant Chicken Clucks at Wynwood Gallery Walk"

• 2009 - National Society of Newspaper Columnists, published April 10, 2008

  "Pregnant Pause"

• 2009 - Sunshine State Awards/South Florida Society of Professional Journalists, published April 10, 2008

  "Pregnant Pause"

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2008 Stories by Elyse Wanshel

• Strippers' XXXmas

  published December 25, 2008

  A snow angel of a girl — pretty, brunette, and fair — stands on a stage in hoochie stilettos and a sky-blue thong with ribbonlike... More >>

• Toga Party

  published December 11, 2008

  Aaron is a boyishly handsome and topless twentysomething in tight white silver-fringed pants, suspenders, body glitter, and an extravagantly... More >>

• King of Colt Deposed at The Vagabond's Beer Chugging Contest

  published November 27, 2008

  James Melgar is a dark and handsome waiter in his early twenties. He is also a speed eater who has devoured 21 ears of sweet corn in eight... More >>

• Tales of Breakups at Splitsville, South Miami's New Bowling Alley

  published November 13, 2008

  Melissa, a blonde in her late forties who looks like she's been bitch-slapped by the sun, kneels in a pair of tight Swarovski crystal-studded... More >>

• Giant Chicken Clucks at Wynwood Gallery Walk

  published October 23, 2008

  It's Saturday night during the Wynwood gallery walk when a crowd huddles in front of Artformz Alternative (171 NW 23rd St., Miami), a... More >>

• Karu & Y, Why Not?

  published October 9, 2008

  Joe, a 46-year-old with a silver-flecked black 'fro and a mouth full of chicken, throws his head back, wipes greasy fingers on his torn blue... More >>

• The Raleigh Hotel's Dog of a Brunch

  published September 18, 2008

  People spend ungodly amounts of cash on their bitches. Check out ILoveDogsDiamonds.com, for... More >>

• It's Talk Like a Pirate Day

  published September 11, 2008

  "Arrrg!" says an inebriated Cap'n Pete Poopdeck as he slams a fist on the wooden bar top at Seven Seas (2200 Red Rd., Miami,... More >>

• Rambolina

  published August 7, 2008

  Marisol, a lovely Latina with sleek brown hair, blended bangs, and skintight jeans, saunters down a quiet hallway when, suddenly, she stumbles.... More >>

• Unicorn King

  published July 24, 2008

  Puerto Rico has the goat-sucking Chupacabra. West Virginia has the prophetic Mothman. Even Mobile, Alabama, boasts a dusk-dwelling tree... More >>

• Mixed Martial Arts Is Gay

  published July 10, 2008

  A trio of women in their midtwenties is huddled in a dark booth in a corner of Gatsby's (8575 SW 124th Ave., Miami, 305-412-2220). Most... More >>

• Drunk Spelling Bee Buzzes Purdy

  published July 3, 2008

  A Happy Meal at McDonald's will get you little more than a fist-size cheeseburger and a plastic toy. But at Purdy Lounge (1811 Purdy... More >>

• Potty Humor

  published May 15, 2008

  Dale Spitler folds his arms across a fitted gold vest that's complimented by a matching bowtie. Then the tall, stern-looking man with... More >>

• A Pregnant Pause

  published April 10, 2008

  "If it's a boy, I'm going to name him Johnny Walker Black," I said to my friend Lola as I patted my pregnant belly. We were leaning back on the... More >>

• Barack Obama Naked!

  published March 20, 2008

  Although the Magic City is in the Sunshine State, most Americans don't think Miamians are very bright. In fact many regard us as coked-out,... More >>

• As Nastie as They Wanna Be

  published March 6, 2008

  As some really nice lyrics — ass, titties, ass, ass, titties, ass, ass, titties, titties, ass and titties — crank at an... More >>

• Pick Up and Go

  published February 28, 2008

  I don't really like to date," says Javier, a short, dark, timeworn fellow in his thirties. "I basically come here looking for a sexy woman. You... More >>

• Greatest Show on Earth

  published February 7, 2008

  The first time I tried absinthe, I didn't feel compelled to hack off my ear. Nor did I see any green fairies. In fact the only things I... More >>

• Zombies Storm South Beach

  published January 3, 2008

  Click here to check out a slideshow from... More >>