rss Email Author Chris Joseph


  • 2013 - AAN AltWeekly Awards


2009 Stories by Chris Joseph

Archives: 2014 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010 | 2009 | 2008 | 2007
  • The Teal Curtain

    published December 31, 2009

    When the 2009 Miami Dolphins schedule came out last spring, it was widely assumed the Fins would play for their season against a... More >>

  • Hit ’Em in the Lone Star

    published December 24, 2009

    The Houston Texans have been a major pain in the Miami Dolphins’ ass the past three seasons. In 2006, Houston got a two-point... More >>

  • To Booz or Not to Booz?

    published December 17, 2009

    This Wednesday, the Utah Jazz come to town to take on your Miami Heat. The Jazz has long had two of Pat Riley’s most coveted... More >>

  • Even Odenless, Still Dangerous

    published December 17, 2009

    This Sunday, the Miami Heat face the Portland Trailblazers, who just lost the oldest 21-year-old in the world, center Greg Oden, for... More >>

  • Feeling the Friendly Confines

    published December 17, 2009

    The Miami Heat returns to the American Airlines Arena after a West Coast road trip that saw the team survive a crushing Kobe Bryant buzzer... More >>

  • One if by LandShark, Two if by Sea

    published December 3, 2009

    Yes, the New England Patriots are the class of the division. But, as Joey Porter likes to continually remind everyone, the Miami... More >>

  • The Heat Has Cooled

    published December 3, 2009

    The Miami Heat kicked the year off with a bang with a franchise-best 6-1 record in the first weeks of the regular season. Since then however,... More >>

  • Circle Your Fun Wagons

    published November 26, 2009

    The last time the Miami Dolphins saw the Buffalo Bills, the Fins had just lost Chad Pennington the year after his shoulder crumbled... More >>

  • Don’t Question the Q

    published November 19, 2009

    The Miami Heat is off to its hottest start in franchise history. Much of the ball-bashing goodness is due, of course, to Dwyane Wade’s... More >>

  • He’s as Scary as the Other Jason

    published November 12, 2009

    When Jason Taylor was traded to the Washington Redskins last season, it left a huge void in the Miami Dolphins. Watching JT strut around in... More >>

  • Three-Feat

    published October 29, 2009

    In an off-season that saw Shaq go to the Cavaliers and Vince Carter get traded to Orlando, the Miami Heat stood pat and will look to build... More >>

  • Because Your Skin Shouldn’t Look Like Pigskin

    published October 22, 2009

    Stephen Ross’s quest to make the Miami Dolphins the most ridiculous franchise in the NFL is nearly complete. As if getting D-list... More >>

  • Take It, B-Easy

    published October 15, 2009

    It’s been an eventful off-season for the Miami Heat. But not in a good way. Instead of signing a free agent (or 30 free agents) to... More >>

  • Gag Green

    published October 8, 2009

    Now that the Miami Dolphins’ mission to get to the playoffs has officially gone tits up, it’s time to focus on the new task at... More >>

  • These Wagons Will Not Be Circled

    published October 1, 2009

    Before last year, the Miami Dolphins hadn’t beaten AFC East rivals Buffalo Bills for several years. But that futility was... More >>

  • The Fish Get Busy

    published September 24, 2009

    For all the ups and downs of the 2009 Florida Marlins season, there has been one constant. No, not the terrible relief pitching, but rather... More >>

  • Consider Fredi Fingered

    published September 17, 2009

    If there were one word to describe the 2009 Florida Marlins — besides maybe craptastico — it would be implosive. This was a team... More >>

  • David Samson and Goliath

    published September 10, 2009

    According to, a website devoted to baseball odds, the Florida Marlins have only a 5 percent chance of making the playoffs... More >>

  • The Naked Truth

    published September 3, 2009

    Streaks are generally a good thing, unless we're talking about those people in England who run around naked at tennis and soccer matches. Or the... More >>

  • Good News, Bad News

    published August 27, 2009

    The good news is the Florida Marlins took down the league-leading Dodgers a few weeks ago. The bad news is the Nationals, the worst team in... More >>

  • Cat Fight

    published August 20, 2009

    Remember when the Miami Dolphins were the laughingstock of the NFL? When opposing teams penciled them in as an automatic win every season,... More >>

  • Rent-a-Johnson

    published August 13, 2009

    Just before the deadline, the Florida Marlins traded for Washington Nationals first baseman Nick Johnson. When the Fish trade for a player,... More >>

  • Does the Marlins’ Deck Have a Wild Card?

    published August 6, 2009

    In case you haven’t noticed (and you probably haven’t), the Florida Marlins are making some noise in the National League... More >>

  • Peanuts, Cracker Jack, and a Closer, Please

    published July 23, 2009

    With the Florida Marlins in the middle of a pretty serious NL East race, it’s time to play “What genius move will Larry Beinfest... More >>

  • He Is Legend

    published July 16, 2009

    It’s been said Florida Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez was forged from the fires of Mount Olympus out of a dash of scrap metal and... More >>

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