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2008 Stories by BRYNA GREENLAW

Archives: 2009 | 2008
  • All You Can Dance

    published December 25, 2008

    WinterFest is to dance aficionados what an all-you-can-eat buffet is to the morbidly obese. An orgy of all things dance, WinterFest... More >>

  • Party Like It’s 1938

    published December 11, 2008

    Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of man? Pure Imagination knows. From Wisconsin cheeseheads lost in the world of Miami fashion to a man... More >>

  • Refining Rover

    published December 4, 2008

    He licks himself. He farts unapologetically in front of the in-laws. And he’s the best friend you have in the Magic City. Barring Fox... More >>

  • Hope, Revisited

    published November 27, 2008

    We could all use some old-fashioned innocence. Doesn't everyone dream of a place where a man named Daddy Warbucks is neither a pimp nor a rapper?... More >>

  • Defying Expectations

    published November 20, 2008

    Professional sports have given us the Fighting Irish, the Washington Redskins, and the Minnesota Vikings. Conspicuously absent from the roster are... More >>

  • Dancing Inside the Box

    published November 13, 2008

    Fallingwater is a plié. Anything by Frank Gehry is the tarantula. Beige houses in suburbia? Interpreting those would require the stylings... More >>

  • Austen’s Power

    published October 30, 2008

    In the works of Jane Austen, dance ignites powerful passion. This is an amazing thing given that, in Austen’s time, men wore wigs, and women... More >>

  • Somewhere over the Causeway

    published October 23, 2008

    To children, The Wizard of Oz seems simple. A Midwestern girl who speaks like Sarah Palin gets swept away by a tornado made out of a... More >>

  • Tastier than Titian

    published October 2, 2008

    Macaroni necklaces cause indigestion. Licking the ice-sculpture likeness of your boss at a corporate party can prove to be both uncomfortable and... More >>

  • Mickey Slipping on Ice

    published September 18, 2008

    Who knows what lurks in your home? Crack open your flooded emergency-preparedness kit and empty the water onto the floorboards. All manner of... More >>

  • To Bead or Not to Bead

    published September 11, 2008

    Craft genius doesn’t seem to be in your genes. Your origami snow geese always looked more like snowballs. And remember that Christmas when... More >>

  • Jewish Salsa

    published August 28, 2008

    Sometimes cultures don’t mix. Picture Barry Manilow and Daddy Yankee trapped in a dark room; only one would survive. Luckily for every South... More >>

  • The Sound of One Spine Cracking

    published August 21, 2008

    Your five-pound cat Muffy takes up as much space in bed as Fatty Arbuckle. This is a mystery best left unexplored. After a full night of... More >>

  • Giving Voice

    published August 14, 2008

    Did someone punch his Adam’s apple? After audiences have spent an inordinate amount of energy pondering Batman’s voice, the Jewish... More >>

  • Banishing Barney

    published August 7, 2008

    You inject fictitious, not to mention obnoxious, words into daily conversation. When excited, you shout, “Super-dee-duper!” and rapidly... More >>

  • History’s New Beat

    published July 17, 2008

    Remember your high school world history teacher? He was the white man with an appearance reminiscent of a Muppet, only without charm or wires. A... More >>

  • Only One Can Survive

    published July 10, 2008

    Opera, like Richard Simmons, lends itself to parody. Spotlight-hungry divas upstage one another with impunity. Sopranos, bleeding profusely... More >>

  • Iron-Stomached Chef

    published July 3, 2008

    Pen in hand, you watched hopefully as your favorite television chefs prepared pieces of culinary heaven. Maybe your attempts at catching glimpses... More >>

  • When Your Voice Is a Sinking Ship

    published June 26, 2008

    Aretha Franklin, the Beatles, Frank Sinatra — all were discovered at karaoke joints. Okay, that’s a blatant lie. But stumble upon any... More >>

  • Esther Williams Revisited

    published June 19, 2008

    Who could forget Esther Williams? Apparently just about everyone. Whether spinning languidly through underwater hoops like a well-trained... More >>

  • Don’t Tell Your Mother

    published May 29, 2008

    Your parents warned you about girls like these. Remember how your mother always fantasized about you settling down with a Jewish girl — Yentl... More >>

  • Sneaking Spirituality

    published May 15, 2008

    Mixing spirituality with music is a delicate thing. The peak of success for bands that attempt the feat is usually thousands of weeping,... More >>

  • Classical Therapy

    published May 8, 2008

    As you commute home and watch — for the fourth time — the skirt-sporting homeless man relieve himself along the Julia Tuttle Causeway,... More >>

  • Forgetting the Gutter

    published May 1, 2008

    Oscar Wilde once said, “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” In keeping with those words, the Miami... More >>

  • Shaken, Not Deterred

    published April 17, 2008

    The martini has seen better days. Years ago, when men wore hats, afternoon martinis signaled glamour and success. Nowadays a lunchtime martini... More >>

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Archives: 2009 | 2008