What's that saying about April showers? Something like "April showers bring hungry undead brain-eaters," right?
That's how we've always heard it. But then, we're the kind of people who observe Zombie Awareness Month, which just happens to take place in May.
We're already over a week into the month, so that means it's time once again to brush up on your survival skills. You know, for when the dead rise up to feast on our flesh. Need a little inspiration? Read on.
4. The ;Living Dead drinking game
Most days, your drunken staggering and mumbling is just a sad side effect of too much boozin'. But during Zombie Awareness Month, your drinking habit serves an important purpose: You're just getting into character.
So play the Living Dead drinking game. The only materials you need are a copy of Night of the Living Dead, shot glasses, vodka, and some red food dye for the vodka. Whenever someone explains how to kill a zombie, take two shots. If someone gets turned into a zombie but they're in denial about it, take a shot. Every time a character unsuccessfully tries to kill a zombie, take a shot. And of course, take a shot after every scream. You'll probably wish you were actually dead the next morning, but hey, no one said Zombie Awareness Month was easy.
3. Have a movie marathon
Night of the Living Dead is just the tip of the zombie film iceberg. Start the month off by prepping with some educational films. Break out the first two seasons of The Walking Dead and you're set. Head to Hialeah to catch Zombie Dawn. If you want comedy mixed in with some action, watch Zombieland; you can even brush up on Columbus' rules for surviving a zombie-infested world, which brings us to our next point....
2. Learn to stay alive
If you've learned anything from zombie films, it's to be prepared ... always. Just because Zombie Awareness Month is a great excuse to get drunk and watch horror movies doesn't mean that we shouldn't face the hard truth of the inevitable attack of a thousand-strong zombie army at any moment. You never know when a reanimated corpse will jump out at you. So now's the perfect time to crack open your Zombie Survival Guide and brush up on some tips.
Athalfred, Flickr CC
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1. Host a zombie party
You have the movies. You have the booze (unless you drank it all, lush). And you know how important camouflage will be when the zombies come for the brains of the living. The only logical thing to do next is to have a party.
Tell your friends to dress in their most convincing zombie attire. Download some zombie music videos from the Internet. Mix up some cocktails -- if you're not serving zombies, you are doing it wrong -- and queue up Sean of the Dead. At the very least, you'll have a fun time with some friends. And should the zombies pick that night to attack, you and your friends will be one step ahead of the game.