The elusive species of South Florida space heater.
The elusive species of South Florida space heater.
House Via Flicker CC

Yes, It Is Cold: No More Space Heaters for Sale in South Florida

The other day, Riptide went to the Shops at Midtown Target and asked an employee to point us toward the space heaters. He rolled his eyes and said, "Honey, we've been out of them for five days." Then he suggested we try a blanket. (Thanks, man.)

Apparently, nearly every store in the county is sold out too. This morning, Home Depot spokesperson Craig Fishel explained his company didn't have a single one for sale South Florida.

As evidenced by the geniuses who lit a charcoal grill in their living room last night, this cold snap is making Floridians a teensy bit crazy.

Northerners don't understand. When it drops below 40 degrees in New York, for example, you jerks have central heating. All we have here are bottles of Cruzan rum.

Orange farmers might be screwed, but knowing Miami, there's probably a thriving black market for space heaters in a Southwest Dade barn somewhere. Just ask for the guy with the gold tooth.


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