Just when you thought Miami couldn't get any sexier and/or seedier, here comes Vivid Live, a strip club branded by Vivid Entertainment, known for distributing the celebrity sex tapes of Kim Kardashian, Farrah Abraham, and others.
The club opens this weekend with fanfare usually reserved for Hollywood movie premieres. On tap are some of Vivid's biggest celebrity names, special events, and yes, more than enough boobies to turn even the most reserved lady lover into a full-fledged Quagmire. (Giggity.)
The club unofficially opens with an invitation-only VIP event on Sept. 12, hosted by Tera Patrick. She's starred in numerous Vivid movies, and has the distinct honor of being the only woman ever to feature on the covers of Playboy and Penthouse simultaneously. No matter where you turn in the XXX aisle, there she is. Basically, she's the Kevin Bacon of porn.
The first day of the public festivities features none other than Farrah Abraham, the former teen mom-turned-porn star when her sex tape with James Deen was leaked (or, as some claim, intentionally distributed). It's now Vivid's best-selling video, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom. In an interview with New Times, Abraham claimed she'd made more than a million dollars from the happy accident. She also revealed that she's a little unclear on what feminism means.
Abraham will host the grand opening party, which starts at 5 p.m. with happy hour specials and a "complimentary seafood feast." There'll also be guest DJs and "live entertainment" (boobs) until 5 a.m.
The party continues the next day with two celebrity hosts -- well, celebrity-adjacent hosts, anyway. Myla Sinanaj, best known for dating Kim Kardashian cast-off Kris Humphries, will welcome guests to the club alongside Sydney Leathers, whose sexting sessions with New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner made her a household name. (Speaking of people who should be in porn: Tony Weiner. Seriously, it's right there in the name.)
And hey, if you're the kind of person who reads Playboy for the articles, you might enjoy visiting Vivid Live for the sporting events. On Saturday, the club will be showing the Floyd Mayweather Jr.-Canelo Alvarez fight.
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Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.