OK kids, we did it. We made it through 11 weeks of Tough Love Miami. We have seen laughter, tears and a lot of hot messes, but it all comes down to this: the finale.
Last week, we got to watch those lucky bitches cruise to the Bahamas with their beaus. Now they're back and it's decision-making time.
At the very beginning, the girls were all given promise rings. Not a ring that promises a man will marry you one day or a symbol from your parents that you wont let a man penetrate you. Steve explained that at the end of this process, they would either give their gold bands away to their possible spouse, or keep it for their themselves. And the time had come for their final group. Now, they just had to do something with those rings.
Things began with Michelle. She gave her ring away faster than a drunk girl gives away her virginity on prom night. When she explained to her new boo that he is everything she now wants in a man, he began his response with "Unfortunately...." We mildly expected him to kick her to the curb, but he followed it up with, "I was brought on kind of late, so our time together was limited...When I'm not with you, I find myself wishing I was." Well, that's just freaking adorable.
Then came Chasity and yep, she and her tall glass of chocolate milk are going to continue things, even though she held onto her ring. She was followed by Leilani, whose journey was, well, here's a direct quote from Steve: "When Leilani came to boot camp, she was about as deep as a kiddie pool." Oh snap. But lucky for her, she fell in Miami Social love with George and she's good to go.
And then Steve had a special guest... Claudia! Were we the only ones really hoping it was all of their exes again? God, that shit was dramatic. But it was just our own Miami resident, Miss Lopez.
A highlight for us was definitely Jane. We kind of loved when she took the hot seat, Steve let the audience know Jane was officially his toughest case ever. Yep, that's our girl. On day one, she let the ladies know that when a man pisses her off, she becomes a "crazy f***ing psycho." But it seems she has dropped the crazy level a tad and she and her ex are back on the love train.
Then came Avonte. Steve's first order of business was to bring her first date back. Why, you ask? Well, you might remember her informing him on day one that because of his dreads, she thought he was going to rob her. It turns out that statement helped her realize she was being a mega bitch, so she wanted to say thanks. Then her new beau hit the stage and they agreed to continue to love each other.
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The final hot seat went to Miss Iowa, Christine. Of course, she and her cheesy lover are still going to date. But he didn't get a ring. She decided to give that to her daughter.
So if we are talking Facebook relationship status here, it seems they are all in relationships and it's not complicated. And to be honest, they seem to have their shit together. But just in case it only seemed that way, we will be monitoring the situation next week at the reunion. Oh yes, we are excited.