Tough Love Miami Episode Six: Lower Your Standards, Sweetie
As we found in our sex survey, a little less than half this city is single. And "master matchmaker" Steve Ward of Tough Love knows why. We all need to be a little sluttier, drop the BS, and lower our standards.
On Tough Love
last night, Ward introduced the ladies to the lesson of deal breakers
and yep, he informs them that their wants for Mr. Right are actually
"impossibly high." To prove this point, he put men in masks and asked
them to sit down every time a lady said one of her must-haves for a man
that wasn't a quality he possessed.
Let's just say that these men were rarely left standing. Holding out for a doctor? Well, apparently there aren't that many out there. Need someone to make $100,000 or more a year? Yep, everyone in the U.S. is poor. Dying for a man who is bilingual? Pretty much just get over that shit already. Oh and woman out there need to learn to love the fatties: over 66% of this country is overweight. See how informative this show is? It's Sesame Street for adults.
Also while watching this episode, were we the only ones thinking about Tina Fey on 30 Rock saying, "That's a deal breaker, ladies!" Ok, moving on...
Per usual, the ladies headed out to get drinks with possible suitors. And now that we have made it through six episodes this year, we would like to announce that we will be trying out for season four of this show. All these bitches do is lay out at the pool, learn some shit from Steve, and then head out to a bar. It's our ideal situation and we will be as desperate as we need to be to be the next Tough Lover.
During the night out on the town, a lot of things were put out on the table. We learned that Leilani's date and Miami Social alum has tourettes. We aren't going to lie to you today and say we didn't used to watch that show and think, "What the hell is up with that twitch of his?" No we feel like an asshole. Jane and her beau attempted to run out into the night, literally and we have decided that she needs to lets her freak flag fly and just jump this mans bones already. Next week perhaps?
The biggest shocker of them all: Brigette was totally normal. We mean, not once did we think, "This bitch is nuts," which is rare. She was actually the voted the best of the week. Who was the worst? Christine. We have always thought she was a little bit of a mess, but this week she brought the crazy.
When her date asked her to sum up her life in five minutes or less, she decided to start at childhood. Thirty minutes later, he had learned she has lost a house to a flood, almost died during giving birth, and is pretty much the most insecure person in Iowa. This put her pageant ass in the hot seat and like always, she turned on the water works and Steve immediately let her off the hook. Here's what we learned from episode six: Ward is a big pussy.
Week seven looks to be a good one: letters to mom. Let the mommy issues fly!
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