Top Ten Best Stoner Movies Ever
Pineapple Express is a classic stoner flick, but is it the best?
Weed is awesome, and even though just last year, Governor Rick Scott banned the sale of bongs (huh?), it seems Florida is finally coming around to the good stuff.
Lest you potheads forget, medical marijuana is officially on the ballot. Habitual smokers are usually depicted as hard to motivate, but if you've ever seen a stoner without a proper device, you know they can be quite ingenious. We're hoping y'all get off your couches and do your part at the polls (you might as well study the rest of the ballot, too, first).
Because we're so stoked on the issue, we're counting down our favorite stoner movies. Light that shit, smoke that shit, pass that shit, and enjoy.
Best Stoner Moment: Um, bombaclat?
This movie is some real gangster ish. From 1998, this flick features none other than DMX, Nas, Method Man, and more of your favorite street icons. It seems that every two minutes there's a blunt burning on screen, and it's best watched while doing the same. Fair warning though, if you do get blunted up and you don't speak Rasta, good luck following the plot. To be honest, we're not sure we exactly know what was going on, but we're pretty damn sure that whatever happened, it was amazing.
9. How High
Best Stoner Moment: Did you know Benjamin Franklin invented a giant bong?
Method Man and Red Man are the two highest people in hip-hop, well, maybe besides Snoop Dogg. Surely, they were on some high-grade medical green when they wrote this, because the whole thing might be the goofiest movie premise we've ever heard of in our life. Dudes get high on a plant grown from the ashes of a dead buddy, and the ghost friend helps them cheat on their college exams. Make sure you smoke extra for this one, but damned if it isn't the best soundtrack in a stoner movie of all time.
8. Dazed and Confused
Best Stoner Moment: That stoner kid is totally making a bong in shop class, and nobody cares.
Richard Linklater is an amazing director, and his big break into the mainstream came with this picture-perfect pot-heavy depiction of '70s adolescence. It's the story of the last day of school in May of 1976, but the classic film debuted in 1993. We watch as freaks, geeks, stoners, jocks and more fight their way through painful and awkward rites of passage. This move is the definitive representation of the apathetic roller coaster that is your teenage years, and it also made Mathew McConaughey's career. It's honestly hard to tell if he or Ben Affleck play the bigger creep.
7. Harold and Kumar: The Series
Best Stoner Moment: Smoking Alabama Kush with President George W. Bush
First, they went to White Castle, and that was amazing. Then, they escaped from Guantanamo Bay, and that was even better. Finally, they burn up Christmas both figuratively and literally. No matter when you watch these two college buds, the tokes are long and the jokes are perfectly obscene. We'll go ahead and nominate Neil Patrick Harris for best running gag in a series to date. Why didn't you ever think to throw a bottomless party?
6. Grandma's Boy
Best Stoner Moment: Dude plays video games with a monkey - and the TV isn't even on.
This is the kind of movie you never stop quoting. A product of Adam Sandler's Happy Madison Productions, it features killer comedic performances across the board. Oscar-winner Jonah Hill is in it, but we all know the most memorable character is Joel David Moore's J.P. How much do clothes cost in the Matrix, and where can we get ourselves some robot ears? Nothing is more lovable than a bunch of stoners working on video games and making fun of each other plus adorable, dementia-ridden, and hyper-sexual grandmas.
5. Pineapple Express
Best Stoner Moment: That opening bit Seth Rogan gives in the car about pot and movies is meta genius.
This bromance picture helped solidify the genre and made sure no one on the face of the planet would ever stop singing M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes." James Franco and Seth Rogan are two good-for-nothing smokers who end up being best friends, even if Rogan wasn't looking for bro love. This movie has action, adventure, suspense, and of course, plenty of dumb weed scenes. Thug life 'til we die.
4. Half Baked
Best Stoner Moment: "Have you ever looked at the back of a $20 dollar bill, on weed?
Before Dave Chappelle was best known for being Dave Chappelle, he was perhaps best known as the man behind Mr. Nice Guy (that, and for being the skinny comedian who is really mean to fat Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor). When three shit-kicking stoners have to raise funds to get their homie out of jail, they get real slick and start delivering weed. Also, a stranger takes up residence on their couch. This movie also features the best Jon Stewart cameo possibly ever. Like, but have you ever watched The Daily Show on weed?
3. Cheech and Chong
Best Stoner Moment: "You mean we're smoking dog shit, man?"
These two are the poster boys for stoner comedy. They're the kings, man, and their cinematic debut in 1978 laid the foundation for the genre. You can see their gags echoed even in modern movies, and for sure, no one can even begin to touch their style. Those suspenders? That Jerry Garcia facial hair? That's some heavy shit, man. Watch and smoke along with the boss bros as they unwittingly smuggle a van made of marijuana across the border and somehow escape the po-po they don't even know are watching.
2. The Big Lebwoski
Best Stoner Moment: Like, that epic bowling dream sequence, man.
The Dude is possibly the coolest film character ever written. He didn't ask to be a hero. He just wanted his rug back, man. Special shout-out to the late Phillip Seymour Hoffman who does a fabulous job of playing the rich Lebowski's butt-boy. You can also catch Flea, bassist of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, playing a German nihilist. He cares "abawt nahting." Fabulously scripted and performed, this movie became an instant-classic the moment it was screened in 1998. It's probably the best movie ever made about bowling, too. If you've never seen The Big Lebowski, do yourself a favor and stop whatever you're doing and watch it - right now.
1. This is the End
Best Stoner Moment: "I wrote your name in jays. It says Jay in jays."
It may the youngest movie on our list, but there's no way you're going to find a funnier stoner movie on the market. The premise itself is fantastic; watch your favorite stoner comedians play themselves and be total asses; plus fire, demon rape, a crap-load of drugs, and a Backstreet Boys reunion. Danny McBride manages to steal the show, and considering he acts alongside Seth Rogan, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel, Craig Robinson, and a million more, that's saying a lot. We've literally seen this movie five times, and it came out less than a year ago. Brb, going to go watch it again.
Send your story tips to Cultist at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Follow Kat Bein on Twitter @KatSaysKill.
Get the Arts & Culture Newsletter
Find out about arts and culture events in Miami and offers you won't hear about anywhere else.