Those who didn't get their fill of Cheney vs. Edwards will rejoice in the Absolute Fighting Championships, a bone-cracking good time where spandex-clad knuckle-draggers named after reptiles and nuclear weaponry enter the ring to maim each other for sport. This clash pits anything-goes eye-gougers and crotch-stompers in a mixed martial arts bloodbath, with brawlers opening chunky-style cans of whoop-ass on each other, praying opponents will whimper for seconds. Tickets range from $15 to $35. Enjoy some sweaty headlocks with your popcorn tonight at 7:00 at the War Memorial Auditorium, 800 NE Eighth St, Fort Lauderdale. Call 954-828-5380. --Carlos Suarez de Jesus
Life is but a dream on Biscayne Bay
Trying to survive the concrete jungle's daily dose of misery can take a harrowing toll on even the best of us. It can chip away at our very beings, leaving nothing but shattered semblances of the children we once were and swore to make immortal. Personal information is compressed into tiny bit streams of binary code and implanted under our skin. Is this the next step in evolution? A hybrid human-computer? What are we to do? Break free from the confines of your hard-drive mentality and reject the trappings of technology, for at least a night. We recommend a moonlight canoe excursion at the Deering Estate at Cutler (16701 SW 72nd Avenue.) Transcend the cruel world as you commune with nature, paddling a canoe on the moonlit beauty of Biscayne Bay. Take time and reflect as you make your way to a restored bird rookery on Chicken Key Island. Call 305-235-1668 ext. 242. --Kris Conesa
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Ounce of Prevention
You too shall wear purple
If the presidential debates are any indication, no solution to America's health-care crisis is in the offing. We women are going to have to take things into our own hands. Literally. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, and if you haven't examined your blouse-bunnies lately, Memorial Health Care wants you to know that a little self-love is in order. They're sponsoring a series of Purple Tea Parties to celebrate women's independence. Attendees, who are asked to wear purple, will be treated to berry teas and snacks as well as speakers including a nutritionist, a radiation oncologist discussing mammograms, and a Triple Touch breast health instructor. Tonight's event starts at 7:00 at St. Maximilian Kolbe Catholic Church, 701 N. Hiatus Rd, Pembroke Pines. Call 954-985-3435. --Gail Shepard