Each week, Miami dating expert Nikki Novo gives us advice on finding love in this hopeless place. Today: Run, don't walk, from these Miami dating "prospects."
We've either posed the question ourselves, or have heard someone else ask it: "Why do I always attract the same (and wrong) guy?" See, the problem isn't that you're attracting the wrong guy. The trouble occurs when you actually fall for the man.
The first step to breaking an unwanted pattern is acknowledging that you have one in the first place. But spotting your kryptonite isn't always so obvious. Don't fret. We've done the dirty work for you by identifying the three most common archetypes in Miami worth keeping at arm's length.
1. The Family Guy
On paper, the Family Guy appears to be a husband in training. His dedication to his mother, dad, and nephews are aww-inducing. He is the type to introduce you to his parents in the first month of dating -- a move, you of course, find flattering.
But underneath his commitment to his family, there's a desperate need for validation. His thirst for approval from each relative is so deep that if for any reason you don't fit their requirements, you don't fit his either. Those are the kind of high standards that would never turn a blind eye to that Spring Break butterfly tattoo on your ankle.
One can't help but be sympathetic toward the Family Guy. After all, he's the one living with a constant desire to please others, while placing his true feelings on a dusty shelf. But what does this mean for you? Despite your attempts to down endless amounts of Cuban food, your efforts and merits will never be enough. He'll take his father's approval over true love any day. And how could you ever compete with that?
2. Mr. (Empty) Money Bags
He drives a fancy car. He buys you endless 20-dollar cocktails. And his clothes are pricier than yours. Hey, but you're not complaining. The gifts do keep on rolling in. And he brings you on the type of dates fit for an episode of The Bachelor.
A few weeks into your courtship, you realize this dude has nothing interesting to say. Conversations are all about what he has, what he wants, and what others around him have. He's not even a good tipper!
All this time you thought he was so worldly. But what you're quickly starting to understand is that his world, quite simply, revolves around him. And that keeps you and your needs on the outskirts. Time to cut and run.
3. Mr. Potential
Perhaps the most dangerous species of them all, Mr. Potential talks a good talk -- and he looks damn good doing it. He has all these plans for the future, and of course, you're included. He's going to have this high-level position, live in this chi-chi area, and help these kids in Guatemala. The guy is Jesus Christ with a paid job!
Naturally, you begin to place him on a pedestal. His talk is so good, you even begin to think he's better than you and that you should be honored to be around him. Without even realizing it, you're falling in love with the future him and not the real, present-day him who is right in front of you at the moment.
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As the relationship continues, time after time he falls short of his promises. And truthfully, the disappointment he causes is partly your fault because you believed his words rather than his actions. Like mama Maya Angelou says, "The first time people show you who they are, believe them."
Yes, Mr. Potential has potential. But who knows how long it will take until he fully blossoms -- if he ever does. Are you willing to wait?