Whenever your child asks for yet another advance on his allowance, you always throw out the same responses: "What am I, the Bank of America? Maybe if you had to work for a living, you wouldn't be so quick to blow all your money!" Well, today the little ingrate gets to experience for himself what Mom and Dad seem to spend 80 percent of their lives doing. It is Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day. (Quick, everyone without children, ask for the day off!) Created by the Ms. Foundation for Women, the program began ten years ago as Take Our Daughters to Work Day. Lest little boys think they can one day exist solely as househusbands while wifey brings home the bacon, the foundation broadened its mission to include them too. Theidea is to introduce children to all the fabulous and exciting opportunities that await them once they enter the working world. Just beware: Dragging Junior to your job just might "work" against you. Once he realizes what fun it is to toil for the man, he may stay in school forever! For more information, see www.daughtersandsonstowork.org. (NK)
Dressed in black unitards, three lithe figures -- barefoot, long hair flowing loose -- writhe around (and on top of) a man sitting in a wheelchair. Don't worry: You're not bearing witness to contortionists indulging in a moment of freaky kinkitude. You're probably just sitting in the audience at a performance by Karen Peterson and Dancers. Specializing in modern works, the fifteen-year-old company is the only one in Florida that features mixed-ability pieces starring able-bodied and disabled dancers. In fact, mixed-ability works constitute a quarter of the troupe's 40-work repertoire. Collaborating with local choreographers is also a priority, and fresh creations have been presented each season since 1990. The latest set of performances kicks off at 7:30 tonight and tomorrow at the Excello Dance Space (8702 SW 129th Terr.). On the program: a new piece by dancersImprovgroup; a duet by legendary Miami choreographers Dale Andree and Freddick Bratcher; and Peterson's Perfumia, which had its European premiere last year at Scotland's Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Tickets cost $10 and $15. Call 305-298-5879. (NK)
Who is J.X. Williams? Hell if we know. Supposedly he was a renegade filmmaker despised by Hollywood, who in 1965 made the film Peep Show, which details the rot in Camelot, namely the ugly goings-on in the Kennedy administration and a plot by the Mafia to turn Old Blue Eyes into Old Bleary Eyes by hooking him to heroin. Sound likely? Uh, yeah. But whether it's true or not, it seems like the makings for a pretty cool film. At 2:00 p.m. today and tomorrow, the second week of the series Cinema Vortex will screen Peep Show as part of the presentation titled Underworld Cinema: The Life and Work of J.X. Williams at the Wolfsonian-FIU (1001 Washington Ave., Miami Beach). Preceding the film will be the shorts Psych-Burn, Satan Claus, and The Virgin Sacrifice, plus an appearance by film scholar Noel Lawrence, who will chat about Williams's life and work. Tickets cost five dollars. Call 305-614-5700. (NK)
Your child reveals a minor talent in painting. Encourage the little bugger by dragging him or her to Pop-In for Kids, going on from 1:00 to 4:00 p.m. at the Museum of Contemporary Art (770 NE 125th St., North Miami). As a complement to its current exhibition featuring the work of famed L.A.-based painter Laura Owens, the museum will offer a day full of fun activities including workshops in magic, making collages, and creating mixed-media jungles; music; face painting; and games. Admission is free for youngsters under the age of twelve; adults must pony up five bucks. Call 305-893-6211, ext. 31, to reserve a space. (NK)
You only wish you could play your old Wurlitzer like organ master Thomas Schuster. The winner of many organ competitions throughout the world, Schuster specializes in grand classical sounds. Tonight he brings his artistry to the Church of the Epiphany (8235 SW 57th Ave.). He'll present a program of French organ works by Tournemire, Hakim, and Marchand. The virtuoso promises to bring the spiritual works to life in one of Miami's most acoustically perfect music venues. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m. Admission is free. Call 305-667-4911. (JCR)
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The abundance of social events your family is invited to this season means everyone better be on his best behavior, especially your children. No gargling with the soup, no sticking asparagus up the nose, no flinging things off the spoon. At 6:00 p.m. etiquette expert Suzanne Willis will whip the young whippersnappers, ages five to twelve, into shape with her Mimi's Manners Etiquette Class at the Ritz-Carlton Coconut Grove (3300 SW 27th Ave.). Covering all the social graces (making introductions, using silverware and glassware, writing thank-you notes), the class is capped off by a three-course dinner (a test!) in the hotel's Bizcaya Grill, where parents can join in and resist the urge to play with their food too. Admission is $40 per child for the class and $45 per parent for the dinner. Class size is limited to fifteen lucky kids. Call 305-644-4680. (NK)
Panty lines are funny. Condoleezza Rice's hair is funny. Michael Jackson, however, is not. At least not anymore. If you've got something to say that cracks you up, you should step up to the microphone at the Miami Improv comedy club. Funny man Lyndell Massengale does it as much as he can. His shtick? Gay prison humor. Massengale finished serving an eighteen-month sentence in federal prison last year and lived to tell the tale. For a gay man, he says, being in prison is more like winning the lottery. Study Massengale and the other brave souls who jam at the mike and you too may get your act together. The show starts at 8:00 p.m. at the Miami Improv, 3390 Mary St., Coconut Grove. Admission is five dollars. Call 305-441-8200. (JCR)