Cultist: You guys have been in and around Hollywood for a long
time now. Who's one person you've worked with who surprised you, maybe
somebody you didn't think you'd like working with but you did?
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I thought we'd get along, but I didn't think we'd get along quite as
good as we did. I found him to be quite funny. He's a cool dude ... Not
like, 'I'm gonna pee on myself' funny, or 'shit yourself,' but he can
make you laugh. And I always say, you don't have to be the funniest
person, but you just gotta laugh at my jokes.
That's a good guideline to go by. You must have some sibling rivalry.
You probably get this all the time, but Shawn, if there was one thing
you could say that you envy about Marlon, what might it be?
Nothing. I am telling you, I am not envious of you. I love Marlon for
who he is and I accept him for he is, and I admire him. But I don't
wanna be nothing like what he is. I can be better, and I choose not to
And of course I want to pose the same question to you Marlon, about Shawn.
He's dead set focused. When he's dead-set on doing something, he's
gonna get it done. I never met somebody that can burn off negative
energy the way that he does and turn it into the most positive, fuel
efficient fuel ever. Like someone took the oil spill and turned it into,
like, clean water and then put the oil back into the earth, and turned
it into a Prius. I've never seen somebody like that. Shawn's good when
it comes to dead-set focus, which is a God's gift that he has, amongst
Wow, that's really kind, especially after what he said about you.
Marlon: That's my gift. The fact that I can do that, even though he did [what he did]. And that's my gift.
How stoned were you guys when you agreed to do Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the 'Hood?
Marlon: Not half as stoned as when we agreed to [be] White Chicks
for 21 hours a day. That was tough. And actually we don't do the stoner
thing. I always hung around a lot of weed heads, and that's why I'm
able to play them, 'cause I would sit there and watch my friends get
high, and laugh and watch them...
Shawn: Wait, did you say 'Never?'"
I said 'I don't.'" I tried it over a couple hundred thousand times, but
I don't do it. Nah, I tried it before, but I don't like it. My mind
works too... I get too paranoid. It makes my heart beat fast and I start
saying even crazier stuff than I normally say.
Shawn: I don't mess around with that stuff.
Shawn's never smoked weed in his life. And he's only been contact high
once, from me blowing it in his face. Yeah. Even then, I've only smoked
about a hundred times in my life. It's not what I do. I prefer a drink.
So speaking of drinking and nightlife, what do you guys like most about Miami?
The girls. And [the weather] makes you have to be half naked during the
day, and half naked at night. I can't be mad at that. Miami is a
Is there anything real negative about Miami?
The weather. It makes you hot and it makes you feel like someone's
licking you all day long, like some fat person is just breathing hot,
humid air on you.
Shawn: It's hard to eat good
here. The food is real salty. The food is good and flavorful, but
you're gonna have a bloated face. I'm talking about the restaurant food
that's anywhere you go.
So, Miami wants to know, when are you gonna come out with the movie Hispanic Chicks?
Um that will probably take a little bit less makeup, but probably
never. 21 hours of white chick makeup, and 21 hours of that kind of
makeup and stuff, uh uh. I'll do Spanish dudes before I do Spanish
So what do you have coming up on the career path?
Right now, going back to square one, and when you go back to square
one, it's a creative pilgrimage that I'm on. I'll be playing Richard
Prior in his bio pic. So I've taken and just committed to just stand up
and I've found an undying love for it. So I'm blessed to be on this
journey. And in the meantime, too, we're writing and producing stuff,
but right now, [stand up] is our baby.
Aside from stand-up comedy, I'm writing a movie right now and produced a
television show that I'm waiting on, and uh, yeah, just being
What can audiences expect to see at the Miami Improv?
Shawn: They can expect to come out and laugh with two guys they been laughing with for a minute.
Marlon: I may tie my privates in a knot. We'll see.
I would certainly pay some good money to see that.
You know how when you tie a ribbon, you go, 'Can you put your finger
right here?' Well, I'm gonna ask you to put your finger there.
Thanks, what an honor.
See the Shawn and Marlon Wayans at the Miami Improv (3390 Mary St.,
Miami) from Thursday through Sunday. Tickets cost $35, and there's a two