The Top Ten Studs of Florida Supercon 2016
Geeks aren't known for their sex appeal, but that's a total misnomer. Ever see that scene in Revenge of the Nerds where the sorority girl accidentally gets with the goofy guy and finds out what she's been missing? Now imagine you're that sorority girl and the goofy guy is dressed in body armor. Yeah. It's pretty hot.
Florida Supercon was a veritable feast for the eyes. Dudes were dressed in next to nothing, swinging big swords, and handing out plenty of tickets to the gun show. Whether they were living out our deepest superhero fantasies or cross-dressing as our favorite cartoon character, the studs of SuperCon are something worth celebrating – and ogling.
This wee fella looks innocent, but wait until he opens his mouth. He came to Supercon with his dad, but he left with all the girls from the playground. He's a stud-in-training. He walks tall and carries a big gun. Seriously, it's as big as he is.
Muscly Blue Spider-Man
Is he Spider-Man? Is he Venom? We're not geeky enough to know the difference. All we know is this guy is packin' serious arm heat, and he can get symbiotic with our DNA strands any day.
Every princess needs a hero, and every hero needs a sick ride. Link left Epona at home and rode down Washington Avenue on this nasty tri-force iron stallion. It goes from 0 to 60 in fewer seconds than it takes to play the "Song of Time." Any room for us, Wind Waker?
Gladiatoooors, come out to plaaa-ee-aaay. Is that the blood of your enemies or the blood of ladies on the rag? That's a disgusting joke, but it's still not as sick as this dude's abs. Wonder if he's wearing anything under that loincloth. Yes, we are entertained.
Given today's political climate, any dude who's down to wear a dress is down with us. You can be manly in an ascot, and you can be manly in an orange wig. We ain't even angry that he looks better in go-go boots than we do.
He is risen, he is bossin', and he is lookin' good. What's in that coffee, Mr. Snow? We hope it's love potion. Never shave.
Ever since childhood, we've had a thing for Batman. Looks like Wonder Woman ain't safe from Bruce Wayne's charms either. Asked what Catwoman would think if she saw these two together, the masked man simply shrugged and replied in his gravely voice: “She'll get over it.” Bill Hicks said it: Chicks dig jerks.
Is that Vegeta or is that Justin Bieber? Damn. They never drew the Seiyan that sexy. He might be baby-faced, but that clingy suit says “all grown up.” Sex levels over 9,000.
He's faster than a speeding bullet, but he always makes sure his lady gets hers first. He's literally carrying a satellite. Your boyfriend can't do that. When a Superman wants you, you get on that cape and ride out into the sunset.
All right. This isn't about sexiness. This is just heart-melting adorability. When you see a lil man meet R2D2 for the first time, the crowd goes, "Aw!" And with that, we leave you. See you next year, Supercon.
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