Who doesn't love the charms of the Halloween season? Hoards of half-dressed Big Birds, Duck Dynasty dudes and Miley Cyruses -- all with conveniently lowered inhibitions, thanks to spiked punch and Fireball shots. And that's just one piece of the pumpkin pie. There are mountains of candy, dachshunds dressed as hot dogs, drunken Monster Mashing, and all kinds of other adventures to be had.
But how do you choose from the vast array of All Hallow's Eve activities over the next couple weeks? Easy -- just pick from our list of this year's best events.
Here are the top ten fun-filled activities to keep you busy until November makes an appearance.
See also: Halloween Guide 2013: Miami's Best Parties, Pumpkin Patches, Costume Contests
10. Resorts World Bimini Studio 54 Halloween Extravaganza Cruise
Billed as a trip "back to the golden era," this party on waves is sure to be one of the wildest around. After all, it sets sail from the Port of Miami into international waters, stocked up with booze, food, table games and plenty of uninhibited passengers looking to relive the original Studio 54. Plus Gary Kelly, nightlife king, will be leading the show.
Saturday, October 26, 9 p.m.
Tickets start at $39.95 per person.Visit RWBimini.com.
9. 27th Annual Halloween Sundowner at The Vizcaya
Arguably Miami's most beautiful event venue, the posh digs once belonging to James Deering get wild and wacky once a year. Here, you'll see the city's most elaborate costume display, from giant pigs to slutty peacocks to Marie Antoinette. People go allllll out.
Saturday, October 26th, 7 p.m.
Tickets run $165 apiece. Visit Vizcaya.org.
8. Save Dade's Armageddon 2013 at Miami Beach Convention Center
This outrageous annual event is seriously sexy, chock full of barely dressed babes of both sexes. This year, attendees will go up against alien invaders. And the world ending is always one hell of an excuse to party. Proceeds benefit Save Dade's work to end discrimination against the LGBT community, so shell out the dinero.
Saturday, October 26, 10 p.m.
Tickets run $100 apiece. Visit SaveDade.org.
7. Halloween on the Mile Doggy Costume Contest at the Coral Gables Museum
This conglomeration of cuteness is the happiest you'll be all year. Dogs of all shapes, sizes and pedigrees come together dressed as everything from Snow White to Jaws to a cop car. Epically adorable.
Thursday, October 31, 5 p.m.
Registration costs $5 per dog. Visit CoralGablesMuseum.org.
See also: The Ten Most Hilarious Dog Costumes at Halloween on the Mile (Photos)
6. The Rocky Horror Picture Show at O Cinema
Admit it -- you've always wanted to do a little gender-bending and dress up as Dr. Frank-N-Furter for Halloween. Now's your chance to get your freak on, do the Time Warp and fling toilet paper towards the ceiling. All while wearing a garter belt.
Friday, October 25, 8 p.m.
Tickets run $16.82 (including fees) online. Visit O-Cinema.org.
5. Tricks and Treats by Front Yard Follies at Time for Wine
After all the blood and guts, Halloween always begs a little humor. And Front Yard Follies will provide their quirky, spur-of-the-moment take on All Hallow's Eve hilarity at this wine-inspired event.
Oct. 26, 9 p.m. Visit FrontYardTheatreCollective.com.
Admission costs $2.
See also: Front Yard Theatre Collective's Tricks and Treats: Booze, Improv, and a Costume Contest
4. Freaky Tiki Halloween Party at the Freehand Miami
Get your Hawaiian horror on at this outdoor extravaganza, complete with BBQ, tropical drinks, hula dancers and a fire show. Zombie hula FTW.
Sunday, October 27, 3 p.m.
Admission is free. Visit their Facebook event page.
3. House of Horror at Miami International Mall
If 30 themed rooms full of blood, guts, gore and seriously twisted stuff doesn't scare you, nothing will. Plus, there's midget wrestling. And a circus. And carnival games. So if you're chicken shit, there's plenty of other stuff to do.
Open Mondays - Thursdays 6 p.m. - 11 p.m.; Fridays and Saturdays from 5 p.m. to midnight; and Sundays 5 p.m. to 11 p.m. through Nov. 3.
Admission costs $23 for adults and $15 for children. Visit houseofhorrorpark.com.
2. Dead Golden Era Hollywood Stars Party at the Eden Roc Miami Beach
The best celebrities are all dead. Marilyn Monroe, Frank Sinatra, James Dean -- need we say more? So pick your pleasure from these long-dead stars and celebrate the golden age of Hollywood the way they did: with lots of booze and bad behavior.
Thursday, October 31, 9 p.m.
Admission is free. Visit Facebook.com/EdenRocMiami.
1. Playboy Halloween Masquerade at the SLS
Bunnies. Lots and lots of bunnies, including Playboy's Miss July 2012 Shelby Chesnes and Miss February 2013 Shawn Dillon making appearances. Expect slutty cops, slutty police officers, and hell, probably slutty parking attendants.
Thursday, Oct. 31, 10 p.m.
Admission costs $30 for singles, or $50 for pairs. Visit hydebeach.com.
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