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The Ten Best Things to Do in Miami This Weekend

The Ten Best Things to Do in Miami This Weekend
Photo by Monica McGivern

This week was hard. You started with a hangover the size of the Super Bowl, but you trudged through and finally, you've made it to the Promised Land. The weekend is upon us!

This weekend, the whole world assembles upon Sochi, Russia for what the next icy edition of athletic excellence. Meanwhile, some of the most beautiful women in the city will strip down to bikinis and compete tooth-and-nail for volleyball supremacy. The Planetarium is lighting up in a really psychedelic way, and some great musical acts are in town, and all the pork you can eat is ready to fall off the bone.

Oh, and that rumbling sound? It's just Grave Digger and his metal-mashing friends.

Friday

Olympic Kick-off: Gather with friends around the old boob-tube and cheer on your favorite country! The Opening Ceremony starts at 8:14 p.m. on NBC. We suggest taking a shot whenever Putin looks like a Bond villain - basically all the time.

Planetarium Light Shows: Woah, dude. Have you ever listened to Dark Side of the Moon set to lasers? It's totally mind blowing. It's a special Pink Floyd tribute night, featuring shows celebrating Dark Side, along with Animals, Wish You Were Here and A Saucerful of Secrets. Shows begin at 9 p.m., following a family-friendly Pop show.

Skinny Puppy: Industrial is for the aggressive dancer who likes their music to sound like the inside of a shoe factory in desperate need of an oil can - that is to say, it's seriously boss stuff. Skinny Puppy make some of the best in the business. Head to Grand Central for all the angry goodness.

Dom Kennedy: Hip-hop is having enjoying a kind of renaissance, and Dom Kennedy is one of the new-school's hottest rising stars. See what all the fuss is about at Avenue D with a special guest opening set from Skeme.

Saturday

Wildfox Model Beach Volleyball: Models may seem prissy, but in reality, these are some of the toughest bitches in the world. They'll stop at nothing to win. Watch them spike each other into the ground, and be surprised by some special musical performers. The competition continues to Sunday.

Monster Jam: You wish you could crawl into the driver's seat of one of these bad boys. Cash to clunkers our ass. That special little boy in your life definitely wants to see some giant trucks crush one another into total oblivion.

Pallette Miami Festival: This mouth-watering event brings all the flavors of Miami right to your stomach. Downtown transforms into a foodie paradise, with trucks and booths from more than 20 delicious restaurants at just $3 a plate. Save room for beer tastings, too.

Second Saturday ArtWalk: It's that time again. All the hipsters descend upon Wynwood's Art District to eat food, drink merrily and, hopefully, enjoy some art. Make the rounds of the galleries and show your friends the best side of our city.

Hood Internet: Forget Girl Talk. Mash-ups have never sounded so good. The Hood Internet will have your booty bouncing in ways you forgot it could, mixing Rihanna with Crystal Castles and all other manner of insanity. Check them out on the carpet at Bardot.

Sunday

Chochon 555: Sorry Jewish community members, this event is not for you. But everyone who can't get enough delectable pig parts, this is one gathering you don't want to miss. Learn about hogs and how to eat them, then stuff your face like a, well, you know.

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