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The Ten Best Things to Do in Miami this Weekend

You know what Miami really likes?

Boobs.

Big ones. The kind that just pop out and are all Hey! We're here! So it's only befitting to say that this weekend in particular is a little... top heavy.

That's right. Most of this weekend's ongoings are happening tonight -- so hopefully you have your 5-Hour Energy in stock because if you've been awake since before daylight like us, you're gonna need it.

Here now are the ten best things to do in Miami this weekend, you sexy city, you.

Friday

Fitness Universe Weekend: Strong like bull.

Miami Marlins vs. San Diego Padres: Two games ago we talked smack about the Marlins and ate our words. For once. Hey-O!

Irie Weekend: He's got his own championship ring, too, y'all.

iHeart Radio Pool Party: Like Mr. 305 Worldwide central.

Journey: Doooooon't stop belieeeeevin'!

 

Saturday

Burger, Beer, & BBQ Bash: Triple threat!

Daniel Tosh: Everyone hates him, but the man is funny.

Donna Summertime Dance Party: Do YOU have a party named after you?

 

Sunday

US Drift Circuit: There are people in Florida who race cars and stuff, right?

Paul Rodriguez: One of the original Latin kings of comedy.

Follow Alex on Twitter @ARodWrites.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.


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