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The Ten Best Things to Do in Miami This Weekend

Did you see the photo Gisele posted to Instagram this week? There she sits, looking all serene as no fewer than three professionals do her hair, make-up and nails -- while she sits, glowing, holding a baby to her breast. In the caption, she complained that she'd had only three hours of sleep.

And, of course, she called it #multitasking.

Here in Miami, it's hard to relate. We do multitasking a little differently. We spend our time at home pre-gaming, not beautifying. (We're already ridiculously good-looking.) Three hours of sleep isn't an anomaly for many of us, especially those who take advantage of all there is to do around town. This weekend, those things include the return of "Rick James, bitch," rocking out with The Misfits, and praying the Dolphins can steamroll Gisele's husband -- the equally pretty Patriots QB Tom Brady -- at Sun Life Stadium this Sunday.

And if there's someone sucking on your nipple while it all goes down? More power to ya.

Friday:

Dave Chappelle: Miami's demand for Chappelle greatness inspired the comedian to add not one, not two, but three additional shows throughout the weekend. Be about it.

Found Footage Festival: A film fest made up of weirdo footage from random VHS recordings? It's like Tim & Eric live.

God Save the Queen: Every month is Movember when you're in a Queen cover band.

Buskerfest: Miami bands will take over metromover stations from 5 p.m. - 9 p.m. for a series of intimate performances, followed by a Spam All-Stars show at Tina Hills Pavilion. Hey, you can't beat free.

Saturday

Gloria Gaynor: Drag queens, meet your matriarch.

Second Saturday Art Walk: Because it's never soon to start looking forward to Art Basel 2014.

Miami Heat v. Cleveland Cavaliers: Can you believe these fools are still butthurt about LeBron? Please.

The Misfits: Still crazy after all these years. No, really, look at 'em.

"First Beat" at PAMM: Didn't see the museum for free during Art Basel? Tonight's your second chance. Added bonus: a 1 p.m. drum performance sure to test the acoustics of the new space.

Sunday

Dolphins vs. Patriots: Losing to Tom Brady? That would be a wicked bummer.

Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.

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