The Real Housewives of Miami, Episode 12: Bring The Parents, Parties, and Pettiness
After a long Thanksgiving break from the broads, let's all just admit it: We missed them!
Real Housewives of Miami may have started with six housewives, but in episode 12, we're now counting nine. In addition to the originals, there is Elaine Lancaster, of course. There's the biggest queen of them all, Thomas Kramer. And now, we have to throw Lisa Pliner in the mix, considering that she is ready to gossip over champagne at 11 a.m. at an 11-year-old's birthday party. She also has lots of money, a love for shoes and has seen a plastic surgeon a time or twelve. How long until she has an intro in the beginning credits?
- Real Housewives Wife Swapping: Joe Francis Claims Joanna Krupa Cheated With Another Housewife's Husband
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- Our recap of Real Housewives of Miami, Episode 11
With all the fighting happening in the Middle East, it's nice to see peace between Marysol Patton and Elaine Lancaster. In a bold move, Ms. Patton invites drag fierceness into her office to talk payment, lack of payment, and everything else in the past. We aren't sure if they made up, but at the time, it seemed things were peachy freaking keen. Apparently, between then and now, some shit has hit the fan. If you don't know what we are talking about, you obviously haven't read our interview with Elaine.
Babies, they are back. Yes, literally: babies. We have poor Lisa trying everything in her tiny little path to get pregnant, even acupuncture. Hey, it worked for Charlotte on Sex and The City, right? Then we have Karent crying to her Latin lover Rodolfo because she seems to want as a baby as badly as he wants to holla at Ana. Or cheat with her, which we may see next week, the show hints. More homewrecking? Geez.
Apparently, it was also "bring your parents to work" day. For Lisa, her husband Lenny's parents flew in just to say hello -- or to show Mrs. Lisa who is the real head of the household. Mama Hochstein rolls in an Escalade, has a key to the house, disrespects her ovaries, and makes it very apparent that Lisa isn't her Russian cup of tea. But thank God for their arrival, because it brought Mama Elsa over for a party. We'll take any excuse to hear Elsa's thought of the day. Today, it was her thoughts on Obama and why the world is falling apart. Why the President himself hasn't called her for her thoughts on how to fix the country's economy, we have no idea.
And the guardian party didn't stop there. We had Joanna Krupa's mother in town to make us cry as she described her tough past. Then, it was time for Adriana to celebrate her fabulous French in-laws and their 50 years of marriage. Yeah, that is something to celebrate. So to do so, they invited all of their friends over for dinner, drinks and dancing by Adriana in a Rio de Janeiro get up fit only for her. Maybe this kicked off her love for performing? Oh, have we not mentioned she recently performed at Mansion? Hey, Miami's Housewives franchise wouldn't be legit if we didn't have at least one trying to get a record contract.
If this season wasn't heating up enough, next week should bring it. Whenever these bitches get on a vacation, all seems to go down but the plane. Bimini Bay Resort, here we come!
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