The Golden Globes: Who's Hot, Who's Not, and Who Won

Last night was a big night for television lovers. First, Miss America was on. But who really cares about beauty pageants if it's not Toddlers & Tiaras? Then, our personal favorite Big Love was back on. (We love ourselves some polygamy, what can we say?) Then, there was the Golden Globes. And after the hard-to-watch People's Choice awards, we needed a good award show pick me. And we got it.

Yeah, the speeches were a little long and some of the segments were

random (e.g., the speech from the man from the Hollywood Foreign Press), but

we genuinely enjoyed ourselves. Host Ricky Gervais (the man to thank for The

Upcoming Events

Office) kept us laughing. And when there is a room full of some of our

favorite people, well, we knew we were going to love it. Here are thoughts on the

very long award show.

Matt Damon and Jesus, we mean Christian Bale.
Matt Damon and Jesus, we mean Christian Bale.
Photo by Charley Gallay/WireImage

We feel like we might get some shit for this, but we don't care: Scarlett Johansson is so freaking boring. Yeah, she is hot, but she is like white bread. Good, but really not that great. And that dress? Congrats Grandma, looking good.

Why does Christian Bale look homeless? Congrats on the win, now head to Supercuts and get that shit taken care of.  And we like how we all just let his little outrage a few years back slide. We apparently have forgiveness issues. And also, when the music comes on Christian, you have to wrap it up. Don't continue to rant for 45 minutes well after your turn is over.

How hot did Peggy Bundy, real name Katey Sagal, look? Jesus -- we mean it is obvious she has had some work done , but the girl looks good. We were glad to see our favorite white trash mom take one home.

Speaking of hot, how pretty is Emma Stone? The Easy A star is quickly becoming one of our favorites. She also may be inspiring some self loathing amongst teenage girls going through their awkward stage.

Biggest disappointment of the night goes to Justin Bieber. We have one question: What the hell was Beiber doing at the Golden Globes? How many tweens actually watched?

Highlight of the night was when Chris Colfer of Glee took home his Golden Globe. That kid is adorable, so yeah, we loved it. What we also loved? Zac Efron. Never in our lives have we thought he was hot and then all of a sudden he comes on stage looking oh so fine.

And when is Glee going to stop sweeping every award show? We get it, it's funny, cheerful, happy, etc. But it's getting to the point that others series should just stop showing up.

Even though we always find Ricky Gervais hilarious, the stars seemed more than peeved at his digs. Robert Downey Jr. cracked: "Aside from the fact that it's been hugely mean-spirited with mildly sinister undertones, I'd say the vibe of the show is pretty good so far, wouldn't you?" He then preceded to insuitate that he would screw every best actress nominee on stage -- at the same time. Way to improve the vibe with a gang bang reference, Downey.


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