The Best Things to Do in Miami This WeekendEXPAND
Photo by Mike Diamond

The Best Things to Do in Miami This Weekend

We're on the verge of the busiest season in Miami, the insanity of late fall and early winter when other Americans come flocking for warmth or high-class art or the craziest party. For now, we're in that lull before the storm. You can enjoy it with comedy from John Mulaney and music from Miami Paradise, Jolt Radio, and the '90s Love Fest, or you can be prepared by getting beefy at the Tone It Up Tour or the South Florida Craft Beer Run. Whatever your fancy, there's enough here to keep you occupied till Monday morning.

John Mulaney at the Adrienne Arsht Center. Even if you don't recognize John Mulaney's name, you'll probably recognize his face. He's been on Broadway, Saturday Night Live, and Netflix with his own special. Or maybe you'll recognize his voice, figuratively and literally. He helped Bill Hader develop the character Stefon on SNL's "Weekend Update" and writes on IFC's Documentary Now, but he's also the mouthpiece for Andrew on Big Mouth. And his standup is pretty funny too. Catch him on his national tour when it stops in downtown Miami this weekend. 7 p.m. Friday, September 29, at the Adrienne Arsht Center, 1300 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; 304-949-6722; arshtcenter.org. Tickets cost $29 to $39.

The Best Things to Do in Miami This Weekend
Photo by Sofia Fascia

Miami Paradise Anniversary at B-Side. Miami is the home of Ultra Music Festival, but it's rare to hear somebody get excited about an electronic artist from the Magic City. Sure, that sort of dirty guy who wears pants that are somehow skinny on the bottom but baggy on top says we should support local music but then freaks out when a DJ from Denmark spins at a nearby club. That's why local curators are so important and why the Miami Paradise Anniversary show is required for anyone who plays EDM as their commuting soundtrack. 10 p.m. Friday, September 29, at B-Side, 2898 NW Seventh Ave., Miami; 786-780-2750; facebook.com/MiamiParadise305. Admission is free. Ages 21 and up.

Florida March for Black Women. On September 30, 1919, a mob of white men roamed a town near Elaine, Arkansas, killing hundreds of black men, women, and children in an attempt to thwart an alleged insurrection. On the anniversary of this massacre and following the release of Philando Castile's killer, organizers of the Women's March have planned a March for Racial Justice in Washington, D.C. The Florida March for Black Women is the regional iteration of the event, which hopes to center black trans women because they are so often ignored in struggles for both racial justice and gender equality. 3 p.m. Saturday, September 30, at Miami-Dade County Women's Detention Center, 1401 NW Seventh Ave., Miami. Register and donate at eventbrite.com. Admission is free.

Craft Beer 5K Run at Tank Brewing Company. Even though runners love to celebrate the end of a marathon with a bevy of carbs and suds, no brewery in Miami has thought to host a 5K until now. The Tank Brewing is teaming up with the founder of the Miami Marathon for the Craft Beer 5K Run to benefit Amigos for Kids, a nonprofit working to prevent child abuse, and Live Like Bella, which supports childhood cancer research. While the sweat dries, joggers can enjoy beer from nine local breweries, food, and live music. At the very least, it beats all of your other excuses to binge-drink. 6 p.m. Saturday, September 30, at the Tank Brewing Co., 5100 NW 72nd Ave., Bay A-1, Miami; 786-801-1554; southfloridacraftbeerrun.com. Registration costs $30 to $40.

Wynwood Comic-Con Crawl at El Patio. Nerds have long known it's safer to roam around in a group of other nerds dressed in costumes than alone. Keep Crawling Pub Crawls is taking advantage of this fact and nerds' ongoing desire to engage in cosplay by hosting the Wynwood Comic-Con Crawl. Take a boozy, musical stroll through the arts district while dressed like Storm or Gandalf, and slurp down a beer at each stop after the El Patio meeting point. 4 p.m. Saturday, September 30, at El Patio Wynwood, 167 NW 23rd St., Miami; keepcrawling.com. Tickets start at $30.
Jolt Radio Seventh-Anniversary Party at Gramps. Homegrown Miami culture has always been weird, and Jolt Radio has been celebrating the stuff for seven full years. Founder John Caignet began broadcasting on the web in 2010, shining an increasingly large spotlight on local musicians and artists. Earlier this year, Caignet launched a video series, Sound Waves, that does the same. Local heavy-hitters such as Otto von Schirach, Rat Bastard, and Richie Hell will celebrate the project's birthday at Gramps with a screening of that show, plus a complimentary caja china pig roast, swag, and other fun. 3 p.m. Saturday, September 30, at Gramps, 176 NW 24th St., Miami; 305-699-2669; gramps.com. Tickets cost $10.

'90s Love Fest at the James L Knight Center. "Knockin' da Boots," "Lick U Up," and "Keepin' My Composure" are hits by '90s Houston R&B group H-Town that will have you sweating with teenage lust at the '90s Love Fest. Also taking the stage will be Silk, Shai, Jon B, Public Announcement, and Vedo from NBC's The Voice. Not only will you have the pleasure of seeing these smooth crooners, but if you spring for a VIP ticket, you also get to sit within the first five rows, do a meet-and-greet with the artists, and get access to a postconcert yacht party aboard the luxurious Biscayne Lady with more music, food, and even an open bar — as if you needed that extra social lubricant after being rubbed down with words all night. 7 p.m. Saturday, September 30, at the James L. Knight Center, 400 SE Second Ave., Miami; jlkc.com. Tickets cost $55 to $93.

Tone It Up Tour at Bayfront Park. Taking cues from mass weddings and mass suicides, mass workouts are now a thing. The Tone It Up Tour is a huge fitness festival stopping at Bayfront Park to connect women to one another and exercise taught by real leaders in the field. This includes the famous crunch taskmaster Jillian Michaels, though it'll cost you more to have a VIP meet-and-greet with her. Expect giveaways, a DJ, and yoga. Bring your mat and all the energy you have stored from sitting at home waiting for hurricanes. Noon Sunday, October 1, at Bayfront Park, 301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; bayfrontparkmiami.com. Tickets start at $110.

The Best Things to Do in Miami This WeekendEXPAND
Photo by Karli Evans

Paws in the Pool at Venetian Pool. After all of this storm stress, you and your puppies need a fun outlet. Bring the furry ones to the glorious Venetian Pool, made entirely of coral rock, for Paws in the Pool. Be mesmerized by their manes floating in the blue against the backdrop of midcentury Miami beauty. Talk about relaxing! There will be separate sessions for large and small dogs: 10 a.m. for pups up to 30 pounds and 1:30 for the giant ones. They're not messing around about rabies either, so bring proof of vaccination. 10 a.m. Sunday, October 1, at Venetian Pool, 2701 De Soto Blvd., Coral Gables; coralgables.com. Admission costs $5.50 per dog and $3.50 per human. No humans without dogs allowed.

Orgullo Festival at Pridelines. The Latinx queer community has never been more vibrant in South Florida than it is today. For Hispanic Heritage Month, Orgullo Festival will offer a full two weeks of events October 1 through 15. The organization is a volunteer-organized, Miami Beach-based endeavor that aims to lead the way for the Latinx LGBTQ community. The fest benefits the group's scholarship fund and Unity Coalition. It will feature a slew of colorful events around town, including drag queens on buses guiding artist studio tours, walking tours, and a benefit gala. The highlight of that fundraiser will be a visit by Spanish film star Sara Montiel for those with Hollywood stars in their eyes and a desire to support their community. 2 p.m. Sunday, October 1, at Pridelines, 6360 NE Fourth Ct., Miami; celebrateorgullo.com. Admission starts at $30.

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