The Best Things to Do in South Florida This Week
Bikinis and babes at Miami Swim Week: See Thursday.
Courtesy of Funkshion
The fireworks have boomed, the grills have cooled, and this year's Fourth of July has come and gone. But Independence Day isn't the only party this month. Miami Swim Week is back with the hottest events of the summer. For the second year in a row, Funkshion Productions will put on most of the shows at its tent venue on the beach at Collins Park, between 21st and 22nd Streets on Collins Avenue in Miami Beach. The tent will be state-of-the-art, consisting of chic lounges and two runway spaces. In addition to offering the main tent, Funkshion will also host two satellite runway venues at Miami Beach hotels: The Setai (2001 Collins Ave.) will house an open venue in the hotel's tranquil courtyard space, and the pool at the Nautilus (1825 Collins Ave.) will be transformed into a runway. Sponsored by brands such as Peroni, Jet Blue, and Zico Premium Coconut Water, these venues will feature designers Luli Fama, V i X Paula Hermanny, Maaji, Tori Praver, For Love and Lemons, Aguaclara, Anna Kosturova, and Kai Lane. Luxury line Hammock will present its events poolside at the W Hotel (2201 Collins Ave.), and SwimShow will take place at the Miami Beach Convention Center (1901 Convention Center Dr.). Other shows will happen at chic spots such as 1 Hotel (2341 Collins Ave.), and parties will go down at spots such as the Broken Shaker (2727 Indian Creek Dr.). Visit swimweekcalendar.com.
We as Americans have fought and won for the equality of marriage, but recent events have proved that the struggle for LGBTQ rights is far from over. It's as important as ever for this nation's gay patriots and allies to come together in glorious union, and when we all get together, we might as well have some fun. Miami Beach Bruthaz, coming to various locations in Miami Beach, invites you to celebrate ten years of politically active partying this Thursday through Sunday. The event is open to adults of all sexualities, gender identities, ethnicities, and beliefs, but it does hold true to its roots as an event meant to raise awareness of the yet increasing HIV/AIDS rate among homosexual minority communities. That means there will be plenty of educational opportunities sprinkled among the mixers and club nights. Love is open and free, but it also must be enjoyed responsibly, because there are enough problems facing the gay and minority communities. We don't need personal health to be one of them. The fun kicks off Thursday with SpaDay at the Hotel Gaythering (1409 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach) and continues with Saturday's Sunset Cruise (Bayside Marina, 401 Biscayne Blvd., Miami), an Epic Pool Party/Fashion Show (Dorchester Hotel, 1850 Collins Ave., Miami Beach), and way more. Tickets range from $275 all-access passes to à la carte events from $20 to $40. Call 866-981-5009 or visit mbb2016.com.
If you're known by the company you keep, John Caparulo is most certainly a redneck. The Ohio native and nearly 20-year standup veteran raised his national profile on Bill Engvall's Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Next Generation, appeared on Ron White's Salute to the Troops on CMT, hosted that network's lone season of Mobile Home Disaster, and hosts with his wife Jamie an intermittent podcast called Domestic Disputes. On its SoundCloud page, he holds an ice pack to one eye, no doubt the result of some knuckleheaded besmirching of his spouse's good name. If that's not enough, he married said spouse in a tavern. Yes, Caparulo knows from self-effacing white trash, but his material, delivered with the high, polarizing gravel of a younger Brian Doyle-Murray, is more apolitical than the average Blue Collar comedian, with riffs on subjects such as adult horseback riding, dogs' superiority to children, and attempting to watch porn at a Disney-owned hotel (not an easy accomplishment, apparently). You'll laugh no matter what kind of collar you're wearing. See "Cap" perform at 8 p.m. this Thursday, 8 and 10:30 p.m. Friday, 7 and 9:30 p.m. Saturday, and 7 p.m. Monday at the Fort Lauderdale Improv (5700 Seminole Way, Hollywood). Admission costs $22 plus a two-drink minimum. Call 954-981-5653 or visit improvftl.com.
Wacky, fun feminist film at Gables Cinema: See Saturday.
Daisies still courtesy of Janus Films
Sarge: The Chanukah Chutzpah Tour... "Kiss My Mezuzah"
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 8:00pm
Fundarte Presents: Chiflón By Chile's Silencio Blanco Theatre Company
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 8:30pm
JTF's Friday Night Live
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 9:00pm
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 10:00pm
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 11:00pm
Some people go into quarter-life crisis mode when they hit age 25. But not New Belgium brewery. The craft beer purveyor is celebrating its quarter-century mark with a series of events across South Florida — and the next one is right around the corner. This Friday, beer lovers can celebrate 25 years of New Belgium brews at Boxelder Craft Beer Market (2817 NW Second Ave., Miami). In honor of New Belgium's anniversary, the brewery collaborated with five other beer makers, creating various versions of the company's signature Fat Tire Amber Ale. From a fruitier iteration fusing apricot and pineapple to a West Coast interpretation with a lighter lager yeast, all five will be available for beer lovers to sample at Boxelder's shindig. New Belgium 25th Anniversary takes place Friday at 7 p.m. Admission is free. Visit bxldr.com.
Anyone who has skimmed through a SkyMall shopping catalog as the plane boarded while hoping to God the lady with the baby doesn't sit nearby, may have come across several, uh, interesting items. There's the dragon-shaped alarm clock or the camera drone that lets you spy on your neighbors from afar. At some point, we've all wondered, Who in hell buys this stuff? Perhaps you've even thought, If I can get a self-cleaning litter box for just $199, what truly opulent innovations could I acquire with an unlimited budget? That's where the Luxury Technology Show, sponsored by RAND Luxury, comes in to fill the hole we didn't know existed. This multimillion-dollar event is a lot like SkyMall — except with art, cars, cigars, jewelry, private jets, travel packages, watches, and wine. And it features companies with names we've actually heard of: Rolls-Royce, Sony, Bugatti, Hasselblad, Giorgio Armani, Leica, Lexus, Aston Martin, LG, Bentley, and so on. Show attendees can also nosh on cocktails and dessert, a real upgrade from the stale pretzels and in-flight beverage service that accompany the catalog's wacky assortment of material goods. Get fancy with the Luxury Technology Show this Friday at the Fontainebleau (4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach). The showcase runs from 4 to 9 p.m. and is free with RSVP. Visit thelts.com or call 212-655-4505, ext. 223.
Miami may look like a lovely young lass with glistening shores and stark white edifices, but the Magic City is a strong 120 years old. Luckily for us, HistoryMiami (101 W. Flagler St., Miami) takes the time to track the development of this gracefully aging tropical town, and it does so in incredibly interesting ways. Its upcoming exhibition, "Beyond the Game: Sports and the Evolution of South Florida," explores the 305's past through the lens of athletics. Curated by filmmaker and former New Times writer Gaspar Gonzales, it tells the tale of the city through film and interviews. It examines locations such as Miami Beach's Fifth Street Gym, Miami Marine Stadium, and Hialeah Park and takes a look at memorabilia and stories of athletes like Muhammed Ali — who spent time here during the Jim Crow era — and teams such as Dan Marino's Miami Dolphins. The exhibit also covers the unique sports of jai-alai and powerboat racing. The University of Miami Hurricanes' mascot, Sebastian the Ibis, will likely be caught dancing to DJ LeSpam during the opening party. And keeping with the theme, a Florida Panthers-provided hockey rink will let visitors get in the game. "Beyond the Game: Sports and the Evolution of South Florida" opens this Saturday and runs through January 15, 2017. The museum is open Monday through Saturday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Sunday from noon to 5 p.m. The opening event runs from 10 a.m. and 5 p.m. and is free; regular tickets cost $10 for adults, $8 for seniors, and $5 for children, except those under 6, who get in free. Call 305-375-1492, or visit historymiami.org.
You already had fireworks. Now it's time to dance, or should we say, bailar. This Wednesday marks Colombia's independence, but Miami will get the party started early Saturday with MegaRumba Colombia, an all-day music and fun festival for those whose blood runs red, yellow, and blue. Put out a call to all colombianos to tear up the floor at Tamiami Park (11201 Coral Way, Miami) while grooving to the best musicians this beautiful country has to offer. Jorge Celedon will bring his spectacular voice. Grupo Niche will pack the bright horns. Reykon is ready to make you fall in love, plus expect ChocQuibTown, Locos por Juana, DJ Kaos, and many others. Food vendors onsite will keep your body fueled for maximum rumba capabilities. The bash begins at noon and runs till the park closes at 11 p.m. Tickets cost $5 to $20, and children younger than 6 get in free. Call 305-461-2700 or visit megarumbacolombia.com. See page 44 for more about MegaRumba Colombia.
Every film geek knows the French New Wave. But have you heard of the Czech New Wave? The 1960s provided audiences with a bundle of great works from Czech filmmakers, and few are arguably as popular as Vera Chytilová's riveting Daisies. Watching the 1966 film Daisies is like diving down a rabbit hole of absurdity, following two young women (both named Marie) as they indulge as much as physically possible and take down the patriarchy. The film is essentially a series of wonderfully silly pranks involving men, clothes, food, and war. A movie as visually bold as this one — with gorgeous cinematography, wild shifts in colors, and some of the smartest editing around — deserves to be seen on the big screen. So head to Coral Gables Art Cinema for its After Hours series this Saturday, when the theater will present Janus Films' 35mm restoration of Chytilová's film. Beginning at 11:45 p.m. and clocking in at a brief 76 minutes, it's a nice little bundle of joy to check out late at night. Plus, tickets cost only $7. That price includes popcorn and two-for-one beer and wine too. Visit gablescinema.com.
"Beyond the Game: Sports and the Evolution of South Florida": See Saturday.
Muhammad Ali training at the 5th Street Gym (Miami Beach, FL) September 27, 1965 / Courtesy of HistoryMiami
There's no day of the week better suited for R&R than Monday's predecessor. (They don't call it Sunday funday for nothing.) So spend the last hours of your weekend at Wynwood's Love Life Wellness Center winding down with yoga and mimosas — a match made in Zen heaven. First, you'll get into some yogic flow with Hilary Packin, followed by coconut water and a meet-and-greet at the Mimosa Bar. The libation station will be stocked with champagne, fresh-squeezed juices, fruit, and Mason jars. This monthly event is the ultimate de-stressor. And let's be real — you need that kind of precursor for a summer Monday spent at the office. Yoga and Mimosa Sundays begin at noon at Love Life Wellness Center (584 NW 27th St., Miami). Tickets cost $30 in advance and $35 at the door. Call 305-456-4148 or visit lovelifewellnesscenter.com.
It used to be that when you talked to Miami, you stared at its ample bosom or bulging biceps. But nowadays, you look straight into its eyes, exploring what it's got going on upstairs — in its brain. That's right. Miami is not only a mecca for the arts but also, now, a nurturing land for growing intellects. Take, for instance, the arrival of IVY, which calls itself a "social university." It has a thinking tentacle securely locked around South Florida and is providing the area brainy and fun activities. This week, IVY will collaborate with professor Raj Raghunathan, who authored the book If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Happy? The event taking place this Tuesday will let the audience discuss the science of and answers to this good freaking question with the man himself. A book signing and cocktail reception will perhaps allow a bit of dumbing down thanks to alcohol and its own kind of cheer. IVY members and guests can get on the invite list, so get in with a thinking crowd that also appreciates a good tan and palm trees. The Science of Happiness Ideas Night with IVY takes place from 7 to 10 p.m. at LAB Miami (400 NW 26th St., Miami). Admission is free for members and $50 for guests. Register at ivy.com.
In a city that's already chock full of crazies, a full moon only amplifies the fun. And there's no better way to get a glimpse of that pie in the sky than from the water. At Virginia Key Outdoor Center, the full-moon paddle is a one-of-a-kind stargazing experience. Join a few dozen friends, and kayak or paddleboard out to Norris Cut, where you'll get a killer view of all things heavenly. Lights are required, but you can rent them onsite for $5 apiece. Bug spray, a towel, and a change of clothes are also wise ideas. Expect at least one stop (for Instagram purposes, obviously). And you're free to bring beer and wine for postpaddle playtime. So embrace full-moon fever and make your way onto the water. Because werewolves can't swim, it's probably the safest spot in Miami. The event runs from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. Wednesday at Virginia Key Outdoor Center (3801 Rickenbacker Cswy., Key Biscayne). Rates start at $35 for singles and paddleboards and $55 for double kayaks. Reservations are required. Call 786-224-4777 or visit vkoc.net.
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