Thursday: Chainsmokers
Thursday: Chainsmokers
Courtesy of 4AM

The 21 Best Things to Do in Miami This Week

Thursday

Some of our earliest ideations of futuristic technology probably stemmed from the 1982 cult classic that the Film Junkies will celebrate at the Tron 35th-Anniversary Screening. It's hard to argue otherwise, with videogames, a TV series, and a sequel all stemming from the computer-generated adventure flick. Whether you're nostalgic for some of the oldest digital special effects or just want to peep some pre-Lebowksi Jeff Bridges, this event promises retro console games, trading cards, and plenty of nerd-tastic fun. 8 p.m. Thursday at O Cinema Wynwood, 90 NW 29th St., Miami; 305-571-9970; o-cinema.org. Admission costs $12. 

Hot on the heels of their debut studio album, the Chainsmokers will make the first stop of their tour in the Magic City this week. Because there's no such thing as too much beat-driven dance-partying, Miamians are sure to appreciate the electro-pop pumps, even in a venue as large as the Triple A. The two are set to tour all over the United States, Canada, and Europe by the end of the summer, so see 'em while they're fresh. 7 p.m. Thursday at the American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; 786-777-1000; aaarena.com. Tickets cost $21 to $297.

Friday

There are those who insist on debating the existence of rape culture, BUT there is no debating the epidemic of sexual assault: One statistic reports that a sexual assault happens every 98 seconds in the United States. "Slut walks" were born out of the need to combat victim blaming and misinformation around rape, and FIU is hosting its version of the march for the fifth year in a row. Despite the grave topic, you can expect plenty of sex-positive celebration, music, and even glitter makeup at this activist event. And SlutWalk is open to the public, not just FIU students. 3 p.m. Friday at Florida International University Modesto Maidique Campus Housing Quad, 11200 SW Eighth St., Miami; facebook.com/MiamiSlutWalk. Admission is free. 

The Wolfsonian's exhibit "Pursuit of Abstraction" is set to close this Sunday, but not without a mystical and bizarre sendoff. Project: Alchemy includes two events over two days hosted by Obsolete Media Miami. A screening Friday of Craig Baldwin's Mock up on Mu — a film collage of sci-fi, Western, and espionage cinema — will follow a reception immersed in Richard Vergez's sound and video installation. Saturday, attend a workshop to transform the Wolfsonian into something like an Animal Collective concert via 35mm slides and projections made onsite by workshop participants. Come prepared to get retro-weird. 7 p.m. Friday and 1 p.m. Saturday at the Wolfsonian-FIU, 1001 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-531-1001; wolfsonian.org. Admission is free. 

Friday: Ariana Grande
Friday: Ariana Grande
Courtesy of Republic Records

Miami's diversity is extolled as its strength, but the day-to-day reality of a melting pot is more often miscommunication and confusion. Freddy Stebbins, a comic and university professor born and bred in Miami, is an expert on this city's subset of cultural stereotypes, and he uses his knowledge to fuel a standup routine of impressions. From a Jewish retiree to an FIU student, the accents, costumes, and absurdity of Stebbins' characters won't just seem familiar; they'll be downright uncanny. And what better way to celebrate what you know and love than to give it a good roast? 8:30 p.m. Friday at the South Miami-Dade Cultural Arts Center, 10950 SW 211th St., Cutler Bay; 786-573-5300; smdcac.org. Tickets cost $20.

From an outsider's perspective, comics conventions can seem like a strange parallel universe where skinny teenagers moonlight as superheroes and grown-ass adults think they're skinny teenagers moonlighting as superheroes. If you're one of these adults, or you just want to experience the surreality firsthand, Supercon Retro can take you back to the early days of Florida Supercon, whose home has since moved to Fort Lauderdale. Appearances over the three-day event include Tank Girl's Lori Petty, as well as actors from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Doctor Who. 1:30 p.m. Friday and 10:30 a.m. Saturday and Sunday at the Miami Airport Convention Center, 711 NW 72nd Ave., Miami; 954-399-1330; floridasupercon.com/retro. Admission costs $25 to $60.

Believe it or not, your dog needs to spend the same amount of time socializing as you do. Think about that the next time you're hanging out with friends and talking shit over happy-hour specials. Lucky for Fido, Poplife has created the Puplife Dog Happy Hour. While your dogs bemoan the struggles of whatever work they think they do, you can unwind from your grind with other fur parents and their fur babies. Dishes for Dogs will provide canine hors d'oeuvres, while two-leggeds can sip drinks and nosh on bites by chef Luz McCook. Don't forget to pop into the photo booth for Instagram-worthy evidence of your good time. 6 p.m. Friday at Omni Park Miami, 1234 N. Miami Ave., Miami; poplifepresents.com. Admission is free.

Can Ariana Grande really call herself a dangerous woman? Unless you're deathly afraid of getting cooties from a doughnut, perhaps not. But that won't keep her Dangerous Woman tour from making a stop in Miami. The child-star-turned-pop-sensation has impressive pipes and the kind of hooks you wish you didn't get stuck in your head, but the real reason to go to her show is the fact that she's a South Florida native. Gotta rep the crib. 7:30 p.m. Friday at the American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; 786-777-1000; aaarena.com. Tickets cost $25.95 to $195.95.

Part of you wants to hate folk-punk kids — their weird haircuts, their unironically old-fashioned clothes, their annoying habit of calling out your submission to capitalist greed. But you can't. Their unbridled enthusiasm is too infectious. And that won't be the only thing winning you over at the Bath Salt Zombies and Zoo Peculiar show. Psychedelic light shows, glow-in-the-dark makeup, and music from outer space are also promised at this gathering of South Florida bands. The event will also serve as the Miami CD-release party for Zoo Peculiar. 9 p.m. Friday at Gramps, 176 NW 24th St., Miami; 305-699-2669; gramps.com. Admission costs $5.

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Saturday: Taco Battle and Craft Beer Fest
Saturday: Taco Battle and Craft Beer Fest
Courtesy of Riverwalk Ft Lauderdale

Saturday

If you like to spend a lot of time puffing your pompadour or waxing your hot rod, the Leah Arts District has your perfect Saturday afternoon. Part of the ongoing Jameson-sponsored #HiaheahNow series, Classic Cars and Cocktails brings together old-timey cars and rockabilly style to the tunes of live acts Yoli Mayor, the State Of, and Uncle Scotchy OMB. The action will take place at a classic 1960s Hialeah spot — Stephen's Restaurant — and feature Thrifter Cool-curated shopping. 2 p.m. Saturday at Stephen's Restaurant, 1000 E. 16th St., Hialeah; classiccars.eventbrite.com. Admission is free; RSVP is required.

All you have to do is add a "k" to "bar crawl," and you've made an entertaining way to spend a Saturday afternoon that much more fun to say. The Bark Crawl, organized by Blanche Park Dog Community, is setting out in its second year to raise money for Paws for You Pet Rescue. The organization saves pups from meeting untimely deaths from euthanasia. After gulping all of those specially priced drinks at Fat Tuesday, Taurus, Barracuda, and Sandbar, you'll be psyched to get home and tell your dogs how much you love them. 3 p.m. Saturday at Fat Tuesday, 3015 Grand Ave., Miami; eventbrite.com. Admission costs $20 to $100.

Obsolete Media Miami (OMM) preserves history and makes art with bits of memories — sounds and sights — captured with technology that is no longer considered relevant. OMM has partnered with Miami Beach Cinematheque to showcase Orphan Morphin', a lecture/demo by Craig Baldwin. He repurposes abandoned film artifacts, nicknamed "orphans," thereby giving them new poetic meaning and appreciation in the nerdy obsolete-media community. With Orphan Morphin', Baldwin demonstrates the meaning behind reclaiming this media using mixed formats. Expect things to get heady and philosophical, so dust off that thinking cap and put it to good (re)use. 7 p.m. Saturday at Miami Beach Cinematheque, 1130 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-673-4567; mbcinema.com. Admission is free with RSVP at bit.ly/OrphanMorphin. Ages 21 and up.

The best way to impress a first date is by bringing that person to something genuinely cool, thus offering him or her the (possibly false) promise of a totally hip future together. Coral Gables Art Cinema has just the thing for new lovers: an after-hours program screening of the comedic horror cartoon ¡Vampiros en la Habana!. Set in Havana in the 1930s, the story goes like this: Trumpet player Pepito doesn't know it, but he's a descendant of Count Dracula and a vampire. The 33mm flick features animated mobsters, dated Cuban political propaganda, and music by Arturo Sandoval. Add free popcorn and happy-hour drink specials and you'll definitely be planning a second date by dawn. 11:45 p.m. Saturday at Coral Gables Art Cinema, 260 Aragon Ave., Coral Gables; 786-472-2249; gablescinema.com. Tickets cost $8.

Have you ever asked yourself, What goes best with beer? Of course not; the answer, clearly, is everything. But if hot meat wrapped in a tortilla is your preferred brew companion, hightail it to the Taco Battle and Craft Beer Fest. Not only can you sample beers and tacos competing for awards in creativity, popularity, and flavor, but you'll also have an excuse to literally stuff your face in the taco-eating competition. The event is kid- and pet-friendly, so your only excuses for not going are illness or a severe corn allergy. 1 p.m. Saturday at Esplanade Park, 400 SW Second St., Fort Lauderdale; 954-279-3362; ftltacobattlecraftbeerfest.com. Admission is free, the Craft Beer Garden costs $25, and VIP costs $65.

If the Easter mascot is a bunny, doesn't it make sense that other animal pals should get in on the fun too? At Egg Safari, it's not just little humans getting sweet treats; several of Zoo Miami's residents will also be given eggs filled with (species-appropriate) goodies. Enjoy music, games, prizes, Easter Bunny photo ops, and the most eco-friendly egg hunt around. The eggs will be made from biodegradable material and the candy made from sustainable palm oil — 'cause a spring celebration should help us keep spring around for a little while longer. 11 a.m. Saturday and Sunday at Zoo Miami, 12400 SW 152nd St.; 305-251-0400; zoomiami.org. Admission costs $17.95 to $21.95. Estape

Saturday: Obsolete Media Miami
Saturday: Obsolete Media Miami
Courtesy of Obsolete Media Miami

Sunday

If there's one place with no room for snobbery, it's comedy. Laughing is just plain fun. Adam Sandler knows this and has made a killing off movies of varying levels of absurdity and hilarity. Anyone who disses his humor is overthinking things. Netflix is sponsoring the tour Here Comes the Funny, headlining Sandler, David Spade, Nick Swardson, and Rob Schneider. All four worked with the subscription channel on The Ridiculous 6. If you know how to appreciate a good set, these guys are likely to charm the tears from your eyes and the pee from your bladder. 7 p.m. Sunday at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts, 201 SW Fifth Ave., Fort Lauderdale; 954-462-0222; browardcenter.org. Tickets cost $89 to $356.

Just four days short of national stoner day, 4/20, Dab Day Productions and NugBrand will throw a free party of the burnt-out kind. The Dab Day 420 Celebration is a thank-you to the public for voting yes on Amendment 2, legalizing medical marijuana in Florida. It will feature vendors, live music, a food truck, and live glassblowing for those who got too high and broke their bongs. Consider this a warmup for Dab Day's fourth-annual 710 event in July. 2 p.m. Sunday at Fussé Studios, 327 NW 59th Ter., Miami; 710dabday.com. General admission is free; VIP costs $40.

Monday

The University of Miami's Frost School of Music is known for pumping out talented instrumentalists. But being able to play is one thing; penning your own tunes is something else entirely. The school also shapes songwriters through the Creative American Music program. Each year, they showcase their talents at CAM Fest. The Sunday focus of the festival is the American Musicians Group (Amg) and the Modern Pop Ensemble and will be directed by Rey Sanchez and Raina Murnak. It will feature freshmen songwriters and standard pop stylings by the students. 8 p.m. Sunday at Clarke Recital Hall, 5501 San Amaro Dr., Coral Gables; 305-284-2241; music.miami.edu. Admission is free.

Tuesday

Each year, the Miami Book Fair supports the NEA's the Big Read, a shared reading program for the community. This year's highlighted read focuses on refugees through Vaddey Ratner's book about Cambodian genocide, In the Shadow of the Banyan. Is this a reaction to the Trump administration's cuts to the arts and policies designed to keep immigrants out of the country? We sure hope so! At the Light Box, Dan Walker's The Origin of the Tiger: A Cinematic Shadow Puppetry Performance will present shadow puppetry — an ancient Cambodian art — and tell the story of the consequences faced by a king obsessed with power. The project is intended to supplement the experience of reading the book. 7:30 p.m. Tuesday at the Light Box at Goldman Warehouse, 404 NW 26th St., Miami; miamibookfair.com. Admission is free.

Wednesday

One good thing to come out of the presidential election is that it has inspired more Americans to participate in politics. This week, you'll find many newbie activists at the Social Justice Summit. It aims to offer a stage for many voices speaking on behalf of the rights of marginalized communities. It's possible your grasp of intersectional feminism isn't up to snuff, so head to FIU for a deep chat on oppressive power structures and privilege. 9 a.m. Wednesday at Florida International University, 11200 SW Eighth St., Miami; facebook.com/StonewallFIU. For admission information, email dcapo024@fiu.edu.

April is jam-packed with incredible poetic experiences. Verses printed on everything from doggy poop bags to city buses are gonna teach you about poetry if it kills O, Miami. For music fans, R&B devotees, and longing lovers, Lies Boyz II Men Told Me will showcase the talents of the '90s Philly group Boyz II Men while attendees pen and recite poems on the spot. Expect a few scribes focused on the shitty love lives of local millennials and the pitfalls of Tinder dating. Free Tito's vodka will loosen lips and help get emotions flowing. 6 p.m. Wednesday at Drinkhouse Fire & Ice, 1672 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; omiami.com. Admission is free.

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