After what feels like six years of watching Basketball Wives season four, it has finally come to an end. And what better way to say goodbye to another dramatic season than with a reunion? Nothing too fancy, of course. Just a small get-together in front of a live studio audience to rehash gossip, insults, and vase-throwing that happened months ago. You know, normal girl stuff.
In one hour, the wives touched on everything from sex to their sanity (or lack thereof). So just in case you missed it, here are our top 10 favorite hot mess moments.
10. We aren't sure what the hell Evelyn Lozada was wearing or why she decided to dress like a ghetto geisha. But let's be honest, the girl could pull off a trash bag.
9. You know how everyone in the lobby of your dentist's office looks less than psyched to be there? That is how each and every one of these ladies looked on stage. It was like they expected John Salley to take away their Louboutins and give them to the less fortunate. Also, um, why is Mr. Salley the host? No offense, but Star Jones or Kathy Griffin would be more fitting. Crazy loves crazy, ya know?
8. To start off the evening, Shaunie O'Neal says that she and Vh1 are going to do their best to make Basketball Wives a more positive program. Um, can you not? The wine bottle throwing and back-handed bitch slaps might be the only interesting thing about these ladies.
7. In the words of Randall, "Honey badger don't give a shit." And neither does Tami Roman. Right after the episode with her verbally assaulting Kesha Nichols aired, she updated her Facebook status to let everyone know she felt bad. On the reunion she told the audience, "I'm sorry, but not about the message." Do we think she knows the meaning of the word "sorry"?
6. From what we hear (wink, wink), Xanax is any girl's or guy's best friend. But it seems Evelyn has started taking that advice, and we aren't happy about it. Not once did she tell anyone that they aren't the motherfucking factor or even toss a household item at their head. Actually, she stated that the wine cellar incident with Kenya is one of her biggest regrets. Um, we hate this new Eve. Perk up, girl.
5. Then Jennifer Williams hit the stage. True to its canned, staged drama aesthetic, Vh1 kept her in waiting as Evelyn told her side of the story. Or because the other ladies requested their time with her be as little as possible, which is what we are going to assume. Most of her time was spent covering her own ass, but there was one surprising moment: She apologized to Evelyn. While we thought it was as fake as all of their hair, it's better than nothing.
4. John Salley wasn't our ideal pick for host, but we feel the need to give the man some major props. He called out Jennifer for not suing Eric Williams when he threw a drink in her face, and it was pretty amazing.
3. Is it just us or did Suzie & Royce not speak one word the entire episode? Eh, they weren't missed.
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2. Apparently, the producers over at Basketball Wives have been watching a little too much Maury. To really clear up the situation between Evelyn and Jennifer, they have given both the ladies lie detector tests. OK, this should be good. Results are coming on part two -- stay tuned.
1. The biggest hot mess of the night: the yawn-worthiness of it all. We can only hope the second round of this shit has a little more excitement. Dear God, please.