Over 680 artists and exhibitors tried to gain acceptance into Art Basel; only 257 made it. That's about a 62 percent rejection rate. Ouch.
There are hundreds, if not thousands, of Art Basel events going on throughout the week, but the best make 62 percent rate of rejection look like nothing. But hey, just like the 400 or so exhibitors that didn't make the cut, there's no harm in trying. Maybe your inner teenager is searching for validation. Maybe you think bending over in you're super short skirt will grant you entrance. Or maybe you're plotting to break in the back door. Whatever your motivation, we have ten of the best invite-only parties of Art Basel Miami Beach 2012 after the jump. Just remember: chances are, you're probably not getting in.
Arts Club Welcome Reception Hosted by Princess Alia Al Senussi
The princess, a member of the Libyan royal family, may be exiled (most likely permanently), but she can still throw a very exclusive party. A promoter of Middle Eastern art, her event takes place at the W South Beach tonight. Unless you figure out a way to pose as former Libyan security -- if such a thing still exists -- you're most likely not getting in.
Unless you have a party specific GPS tracker, you're going to have a tough time getting into this Paris nightclub reincarnation. Formerly held at the Delano, the party is hitting the road this year. The late-night parties will be held at different locations every night from December 4 through 9. To track the parties down, you need to download the Where is Le Baron iPhone app or check out the Twitter, Facebook, or website. Each night's location will be disclosed at 6pm. If you're not technologically inclined, it's not going to happen.
Silencio at FDR
Another Parisienne club is taking over from Le Baron's old spot. David Lynch's Silencio is heading to the FDR at the Delano December 4 though 8. The pop-up is based on the members only Paris club, which itself is based on Club Silencio in Lynch's Mulholland Drive. Confused by the concept? Don't worry, you should be more confused by how to get in.
Valentino Pop Pois
Obviously, any party thrown by Valentino is going to be an exclusive celebrity heavy event. Held at the Webster, the party will be a collaboration between Valentino, Interview Magazine, and fashion consultant/ founder of Argentinian designer clothes site Underoursky.com, Sofía Sanchez Barrenechea with DJ Chelsea Leyland. This one night party, on Decemeber 5, is a celebration of the new polka dot line by Valentino. Good luck not looking like Cruella de Vil enviously eyeing the spots on that one.
Chanel and Art.sy Beachside BBQ
This celebrity studded BBQ has a rather interesting cast of characters on the guest list. Guess what? It's not you. Thrown by Carter Cleveland, Art.sy CEO; Wendi Murdoch, Art.sy investor most famous for saving her husband (Fox News chairman) Rupert Murdoch from a pie in the face; Pay-Pal co-founder and hedge fund manager Peter Thiel; and Russian socialite Dasha Zhukova, it's an invite-only event at Soho Beach House on December 5. Slated to attend: Drew Barrymore, her art dealer husband Will Kopelman, Russell Simmons, Owen Wilson.
Visionaire Magazine and Net-A-Porter
Known as one of the most extravagant and favored parties of all the Basel events, you have to be kidding yourself to think there is a chance you're getting in, if you're not already on the list. It's being held at Hyde Beach at the SLS South Beach on December 6.
Dom Perignon, Alex Dellal, Stavros Niarchos, and Vito Schnabel's late night Luminous Rosé party at Wall
Given the hosts (namely Dom), we know there will be some celebratory bubbly going around the W South Beach on December 6. Too bad you're going to have a hard time getting in on that action. Previous parties were well-known for packing the A-lister crowd--think Naomi Campbell, Sean Penn, Michael Douglas, and Catherine Zeta-Jones. One host, Vito Schnabel, is currently dating Demi Moore. It would almost be weird if she were not in the crowd.
Moncler's 60th Anniversary Party
It may not make sense that a high-end French company is celebrating its 60th birthday in city that rarely hits 30 degrees, but hey--at least both (the city and the company) know how to throw a party. What does make sense for a party trying its hardest to remain exclusive? Secrecy. The party, which apparently takes place on December 7, is being held in a still undisclosed location. Why? To keep you out.
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Art of Basketball "Heat Wave"
Honestly, we're not really sure what basketball has to do with art, but Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh are hosting this exclusive event from 8 to 11 pm on December 7. Featuring food by the Shake Shack and music by DJ Irie, the party will be celebrating a collection of art created on official NBA backboards and the floor boards from the 2011 All-Star games; all done by graffiti and street artists. Leading street artists or not, if it involves the Heat in Miami, you know it's a big deal.
Rico Love, Saks Fifth Avenue, and Roberto Cavalli Cocktail Reception and Art Basel Show
Taking place December 8, at the Cabanas at the SLS Hotel South Beach, this ultra exclusive event will most likely be hoarding celebrities -- Rico Love and Roberto Cavalli might have a couple contacts. Even if you're fully decked out in your tiny, animal print Cavalli gear, if you're name is not Beyonce, you're probably not on the guest-list.