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Ten Hotties (and Hot Messes) at the 2012 Model Beach Volleyball Tournament

Check out more photos from the Model Beach Volleyball Tournament in our slide show.

When you heard the Model Beach Volleyball Tournament was returning to South Beach last weekend, you probably had one of two reactions:

1. Oh my God, I need to be there to look at all the hot bodies!
2. Oh my God, I need to stay the hell away from there to avoid comparing myself to all the hot bodies!

We're here to report that the horny beachgoers were the winners this weekend. Sure, those hot bodies did some good, raising money for Models 4 Water, an organization that brings sustainable water to Burkina Faso, Africa. But any loss of self-esteem you might have felt looking at the sexy,

near-naked, charitable bodies was nicely balanced by the drunken, over-the-top

antics of the personalities inside them.

From pretty people to beautiful disasters, check out our top ten favorites:

10. Nerdy Girl
Psst. Hey, model. Those sunglasses would work better if they had lenses.

9. Coinslot Chic
Actor Geoff Stults: Crack kills.

Ten Hotties (and Hot Messes) at the 2012 Model Beach Volleyball Tournament

8. Winning!
To say they took this tournament seriously is an understatement.

7. A Unicorn
The rare carb-eating model in her natural habitat.

6. Hometown Hero
Meet Miss Sports Illustrated Rookie of the Year, Nina Agdal.

 

5. Nose Looks Like a Lady's
Is there a term for a men's nose ring. Manasal piercing? We're working on it.

4. Those Aren't Shirts
Who needs a bathing suit when you have paint?

3. Cyclops!
Actor James Marsden. Hot and the opposite of humble.

2. In the Army Now
He obviously put on his Sunday best.

Ten Hotties (and Hot Messes) at the 2012 Model Beach Volleyball Tournament

1. MOAR BOOZE PLZ
We learned that models love liquor. A lot. A lot of liquor.

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