How bad is the economy? It's so bad, little people (we Googled, it's the politically correct term for dwarves) are willing to get thrown through the air by drunk people -- as long as they get paid. Rep. Ritch Workman, R-Melbourne, is trying to get Florida's dwarf-tossing ban lifted. He believes it's just another way Big Brother infringes on individual's rights to earn a living.
Although you probably don't get manhandled or have to wear a tiny cape and helmet, your own livelihood likely requires some level of humiliation so you can pay rent. Your only respite is the weekend -- two days to drink, nap, and freak out with such panache that you forget the week even has a Monday through Friday. Leave your dwarf-tossed blues behind you with the following ten weekend events.
Symphony for the Dance Floor: Miami Light Project (not to be confused
with the Miami Darkness Project) hosts the grand opening of their
Lightbox Theater with a performance of Symphony for the Dance Floor.
Revenge of the Tiki III: Venture north of Dade and you'll find that Fort
Lauderdale is steeped in rockabilly. This Saturday, hit up the Revenge
of the Tiki III festival at Monterey Club for pin-up beauty contests and sailor
Spring Awakening: New World School of the Arts presents the
controversial German rock musical, Spring Awakening, at the Colony
Theatre. Look for our review on Saturday.
Second Saturday Art Walk: In the words of Phil Collins, can you feel it coming in the air tonight?
High-season is upon us. That means this Saturday's art walk will be
teeming with amazing new exhibits and the crowds to match. Check our guide.
U.S. vs. Honduras Soccer: Trying to qualify for the World Cup, U.S. and Honduras match up at Sun Life stadium for some footie.
Vampires vs. Zombies: Gold Coast Derby Grrls hosts vampires vs. zombies at the War Memorial Auditorium in honor of Halloween.
Yuck: This London quartet bounds towards Bardot in the wake of the
canceled Langerado Festival. Their '90s rock draws comparisons from
Teenage Fan Club to Elliot Smith.
Miami Carnival in the Gardens: Near-naked ladies, covered in feathers and glitter and gyrating to Soca? Must be Carnival.
Das Racist: Hyperliterate hipster-hoppers rap about stereotypes and Michael Jackson at Grand Central.
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Stuffed and Unstrung: Don't expect the twee flirtation of Kermit and
Miss Piggy at this puppet performance. The Jim Henson Company presents a
whole new breed of puppets -- and these like to talk dirty.