How bad is the economy? It's so bad, little people (we Googled, it's the politically correct term for dwarves) are willing to get thrown through the air by drunk people -- as long as they get paid. Rep. Ritch Workman, R-Melbourne, is trying to get Florida's dwarf-tossing ban lifted. He believes it's just another way Big Brother infringes on individual's rights to earn a living.
Although you probably don't get manhandled or have to wear a tiny cape and helmet, your own livelihood likely requires some level of humiliation so you can pay rent. Your only respite is the weekend -- two days to drink, nap, and freak out with such panache that you forget the week even has a Monday through Friday. Leave your dwarf-tossed blues behind you with the following ten weekend events.
Friday
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Symphony for the Dance Floor: Miami Light Project (not to be confused
with the Miami Darkness Project) hosts the grand opening of their
Lightbox Theater with a performance of Symphony for the Dance Floor.
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Revenge of the Tiki III: Venture north of Dade and you'll find that Fort
Lauderdale is steeped in rockabilly. This Saturday, hit up the Revenge
of the Tiki III festival at Monterey Club for pin-up beauty contests and sailor
tattoos.
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Spring Awakening: New World School of the Arts presents the
controversial German rock musical, Spring Awakening, at the Colony
Theatre. Look for our review on Saturday.
Saturday
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Second Saturday Art Walk: In the words of Phil Collins, can you feel it coming in the air tonight?
High-season is upon us. That means this Saturday's art walk will be
teeming with amazing new exhibits and the crowds to match. Check our guide.
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U.S. vs. Honduras Soccer: Trying to qualify for the World Cup, U.S. and Honduras match up at Sun Life stadium for some footie.
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Vampires vs. Zombies: Gold Coast Derby Grrls hosts vampires vs. zombies at the War Memorial Auditorium in honor of Halloween.
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Yuck: This London quartet bounds towards Bardot in the wake of the
canceled Langerado Festival. Their '90s rock draws comparisons from
Teenage Fan Club to Elliot Smith.
Sunday
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Miami Carnival in the Gardens: Near-naked ladies, covered in feathers and glitter and gyrating to Soca? Must be Carnival.
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Das Racist: Hyperliterate hipster-hoppers rap about stereotypes and Michael Jackson at Grand Central.
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Stuffed and Unstrung: Don't expect the twee flirtation of Kermit and
Miss Piggy at this puppet performance. The Jim Henson Company presents a
whole new breed of puppets -- and these like to talk dirty.
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