Miami's not exactly a city that treasures its quiet, subtle beauty. If you want to be noticed, you've gotta do something outrageous to steal the spotlight from someone or something equally stunning and/or insane. Those stakes are doubled during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim, when out-of-town designers and models join the ongoing war for attention.
So we get the impulse behind Lila Nikole's "Electrika" Swim Week show, which paired two of Miami's most in-your-face assets -- Ultra Music Festival and the Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders -- on the runway. That combination is sure to get you noticed.
Let's just say these looks were indeed noticeable.
The styling of the suits was approaching on-trend, with statement jewelry and fresh-from-the-beach hair and makeup. But the suits themselves, in loud, tie-dye-esque prints, read a bit on the cheap side. Still, when you're taking your fashion inspiration from a girl who romanced a tree in public, it could've been worse.
We saw plenty of Native American-inspired styles on the runways last weekend, and not just the braided, beaded number on the cheer-model above. Still, we're pretty sure most women would rather not show off their, uh, crotch fringe.
Here's an example of what fashion bloggers refer to as a "scrolldown." Start from the top: Cute hair, appropriate necklace, maybe the center cut-out is cut a bit too low, but for the most part this seems inoffensive -- sweet neon Jesus those shoes. Paired with an equally fluorescent look, they're just kind of bulky; paired with this pastel number, they're jarring.
We like to imagine this model isn't just striking a pose; she's performing an interpretive dance in the character of the lava lamp for which she is costumed. Groovy, man.
Saggy boobs and a high-waisted bottom that's not doing anyone any favors. To her credit, this cheer-model seems to know she drew the short straw with this look.
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We're sorry, Lila Nikole. We were genuinely excited to see your Miami-inspired collection, and we wanted to like it, we really did. But we've gotta call 'em like we see 'em. It's our job. So please, don't be angry. We get the feeling we wouldn't like you when you're angry.