As Miamians, we're perpetually spoiled by our 250+ days of sunshine each year. Vitamin D is our drug of choice (one of them, anyway), so when rainy days befall us -- well, we don't know what to do with our sun-bronzed selves.
That's especially bad this year, since the rainy summer season has hit us early. Get ready to know what seasonal depression feels like.
Still, there's more to Miami than relaxing on the beach and dining al fresco. It's just hard to remember that sometimes. So we've lovingly prepared this guide to staying both dry and entertained on those dark and gloomy days. Enjoy.
This joint gets bonus points for ample parking, a lounging couch in the
main theatre, and PBR galore. They also show a pretty killer selection
of indie flicks that'll keep you titillated despite torrential
downpours. Juan of the Dead is showing this weekend, and trust us, it's
hilarious.
like Bill Nye.
Science isn't just for kids, no matter what elementary school bio may have led you to believe. The Miami Museum of
Science offers a surprising variety of absorbing exhibits, including a
3,000-gallon "Sea Lab" touch tank, an interactive immersion theatre
where you can tour the human body, and a wildlife center where they
rehabilitate -- get this -- raptors. How badass is that? And during Miami Museum Month, you get free admission to one of a handful of other South Florida museums with your ticket. Badass squared.
Bowling: the ultimate indoor sport. Splitsville has plenty of lanes,
pool tables and a full menu/bar. (Let's face it -- would bowling be
tolerable without liquor?) Also, no one under 21 is allowed after 8 p.m. A
kid-free zone is always a bonus. So lace up those kicks and order a
White Russian. The Dude would want it that way.
in a dark bar.
Hell, if the sun isn't showing its pretty face, why
should you? Holing up in a dark, dank liquor lounge is always a good
idea, particularly when the weather matches the décor. A few in Miami
where the shades are always drawn include Tobacco Road, Ted's Hideaway, and Barracuda's.
Did you know Miami Beach had an ice skating rink? It's true: the Scott Rakow Youth Center.
So act like a N'oreasterner for a day and shred some ice. Of course, we
all know the crowd is mostly made up of Zamboni groupies, but you can
still get your skate on in between views. And if you're feeling really
saucy, you can always give the Iron Lotus a go.
If you're an adrenaline junkie, this is the only real indoor sport (sorry bowling). And any place with "X-treme" in its name, has gotta be good. So get geared up and ready to rock (har har). I'll belay you, if you belay me. Oh yeah.
4. Spa out.
If you've got some dinero to blow, you can spend a day at the epic Spa at the Mandarin Oriental
getting your pamper on. If you've really got the bucks, book a VIP spa
suite and order everything from the Opulent Rejuvenesence Facial to the
Detoxifying Algae Wrap. Or, just go with the Ultimate Spa Day, a six-hour, 40-minute experience that'll leave you gorgeous, glowing and
quivering like so much jelly. It starts at $745, but it's worth every penny -- especially when you compare it to the therapy bills you'll need after moping around the house for months on end.
The childish joys of mini-golf have gotten all grown up with Strike's new indoor course
at Dolphin Mall. This nine-hole delight features a full bar and food
from celeb chef David Burke. So why not get wasted and hurl a few balls
at their 10-foot-tall peg-legged pirate? It'll make for a memorable
afternoon.
QT with some novels.
Miami's got some badass bookstores, but in the age
of Amazon, do we give them the attention they deserve? Now's your
chance. Pop a squat at Books & Books, nosh on some vegan grub, and learn about all 50 Shades of Gray. Miamians are bookworms, after all.
Need we elaborate?
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