Spartan Race at Oleta River Is Like S&M for Fitness Freaks

Remember when crawling in the mud under barbed wire, crossing over a river on rope, and jumping man-made walls was what cadets did to prove they had what it takes to be a Marine? Think An Officer and a Gentlemen.  Well it turns out being tortured, er, tested by a combination of natural and artificial obstacles is all the rage. We're not sure when 5Ks (obviously, for wimps), marathons (hardly worth mentioning), and even triathlons (barely a challenge) became little more warm ups for actual exercise? It's hard to say, but the organizers of Spartan Race  probably had something to do with it.

Come Saturday morning, hordes of fitness enthusiast and masochists will flock to Oleta River State Park to test their physical and mental toughness in a race not made for the faint of heart. Read on for details.

The sadists behind the latest stop of the Spartan Race self describe

themselves as "seven insane ultra athletes and a Royal Marine." Figures.

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The race is rated a Super Spartan level event meaning there will be an

"8+ mile battlefield of insane mud running with 15+ obstacles to test

your physical strength and mental resolve." How about you just shoot us

in the knees and we'll call it even!

Barbed-wire and mud is what passes for fun these days.
Barbed-wire and mud is what passes for fun these days.

The good news is that the Super Spartan Level isn't even in the top two

most difficult categories for these freaks - those would be the Spartan

Beast and the ultimate Spartan Death Race (which we hear is lovely).

More good news. If you manage to finish the race you get a dunce cap.

Not really. You actually get a catered meal set to live music, which is

good background noise to mask the screams of pain as compound fractures

are reset.

The top three finishers for both males and females get a free entry to a

future Death Race. There's no information available on what happens to

those who don't finish. Because Cultist enjoys a little self-flagellation like most of us, we sent a writer to take part in the race

with a helmet cam. Look out for his post on Monday, that is if he makes

it out alive.

This is what's in store for our scribe:

The Spartan Race tour starts at 9 a.m. on Saturday at the Oleta River State Park (3400 NE 163rd St., Sunny Isles Beach). You can register at the race for $115, $65 for military, and $10 for kids. For more information visit www.spartanrace.com.

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