So You Want an Apocalypse? Hollywood's Got You Covered
It's the end of the world as we know it.
4:44 Last Day on Earth
If you are reading this, there is a good chance you're not dead yet. Probably. But don't worry -- if the plethora of recent murders, mutilations, and human-flesh binge eating isn't enough to assure you that the rapture is quickly approaching, then the slew of contemporary
films about the End of Days should be an indication that it might be time to start looking through your closet for appropriate apocalypse wear.
Discussing what will lead to the end of Planet Earth with friends over chips, salsa, and margaritas is one of the best ways to spend a chill Friday night. So naturally, Hollywood wants in on the fun, and lately has been piping in with some of its own suggestions.
Abel Ferrara's 4:44 Last Day on Earth, which played at the Miami Beach
Cinematheque a few weeks back, predicts that the dwindling ozone layer will lead to our undoing. As I look around at some of the tans on South Beach, I'm starting to
believe that Ferrara may not be too far off.
Later this month, the
romantic comedy Seeking a Friend for the End of the World comes to the
Regal South Beach. It stars Steve Carell and Keira Knightley, and tells
us that it'll be a giant asteroid that will wipe out civilization.
Personally, I've been convinced that it's Freightly Kneightly's acting
that would do that, but an asteroid is also a possibility.
Rohland Emerich's mediocre disaster film 2012 suggests that this is
the very year that the earth goes bye-bye, and that the Mayan calendar is
proof. Never mind the fact that the Mayans weren't smart enough to
manage survival, let alone predict the world's ending -- or that it was just a
The fact is, if we are indeed going the way of the
dinosaur this year, we might as well get ready. And what better
way to do so than watching the best films on the subject? While
there is a never-ending amount of movies that talk about Armageddon
disguised as a thriller or merely unapologetic disaster porn (including Armageddon, for starters), here's my
own brief list of some apocalyptic cinematic journeys with real gravitas. You shouldn't miss these films, so hurry up and see them while there's still time.
Dr. Strangelove succeeds at
being a masterful work of cinema in any genre, and a pretty kick-ass
satirical story about the world's end and how we ultimately may be
responsible for our own destruction. Made during the height of the Cold War, when the threat of a nuclear showdown seemed imminent, Stanley
Kubrick's vision seems just as relevant in our current landscape. In it,
we don't see the world's ultimate destruction -- but we do see that the megalomaniacal hunt for bigger, badder, and more dangerous weapons could lead to our own
end. As if the story weren't enough, the
flawless Peter Sellers under Kubrick's direction is reason enough to see
this film... and to sign a non-nuclear treaty.
In Children of Men,
the human race is slowly dying off due to a two-decade-long pandemic of
infertility. The end of the world is clearly in sight. The UK remains
the only place on earth with some semblance of normality, but even then
it's a dystopian society run as a police state dedicated to keeping
immigrants and those who support them underfoot. Clive Owen becomes the
unwilling accomplice to an African refugee who soon reveals she's
pregnant and needs help avoiding British forces. While a world that is
kids-free sounds delightfully appealing to me, I'm not sure I'd want it to go down quite like this. Alejandro Cuaron's Children of Men is an allegory rich with religious symbolism, strife, and hope -- one hell of a good movie.
bad boy Lars Von Trier's Melancholia is a film about family drama,
severe depression, and yes, the end of the world. Inspired by the filmmaker's
own struggles with bipolar disorder, Melancholia presents a world where only
the despondent are even-keeled enough to deal with doom. Kirsten Dunst
(in the first role she's ever been truly great in) is the only calm one
as the impending apocalypse approaches, courtesy of Melancholia, a star
that is on its way to crash into our world. Not that she has much to be sad about. As the film starts, she's just married hunky
Alexander Skarsgard at a palatial estate, and they end up fucking in the
gardens -- that's the best medicine for the blues I can think of. But I digress.
Featuring an ensemble cast that includes
Kiefer Sutherland and Charlotte Gainsbourg, this is a
film of epic proportions and startling visual beauty. It also makes
you hope that the world's end really will feature a soundtrack by
Though the cynical among us might nod their heads in
agreement when Kirsten Dunst declares, "The earth is evil; nobody will
miss it" in Melancholia, I, for one, am not sure. So here's hoping the
Mayans are wrong. I'd like to stick around at least a little longer -- if
not to see the newest crop of doomsday flicks, then to see what the
Magic City can do next to top our Zombie Cannibal. After all, we have a
1120 Lincoln Road
Miami Beach, FL 33139
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