Skrawberry's Guide to Curing Long-Term Relationship Bed Death
You know Miami stripper Skrawberry for her rap skills, her political commentary, and of course, her sexy moves on the pole. Now, you'll also know her for her sound advice. In this weekly column, Skraw responds to readers' questions about life, love, and beyond. Got a question for Skraw? Hit her up at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Let me start off by saying I love reading your blog. You keep it real, and you keep me entertained. But anyway, down to my dilemma. I have been with my boyfriend for over six years, and I am suddenly starting to lose interest in having sex with him. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to go out and have sex with anyone else, but it's just boring. When we do have sex, it seems as if he is more concerned with satisfying himself. I have expressed this to him a few times, and he'll try to do something different maybe once, but then it's back to BORING.
Now, I feel like part of the problem has to do with porn. There's no romance, he just wants to "get off." He watches a lot of porn, and I feel like it's taking his sex life away from what is real. I like having passionate, steamy, hot sex with my man and I like trying different things. But when he's looking at porn all day, at home and at work, I feel like he's not giving me his all, and our sex life is becoming stale, like a bag of potato chips. For me it has gotten to the point where I just don't want to have sex with him at all, seriously.
There is no such thing as bad sex -- you always have a say. As a woman, you know how you like to get fucked. So if something is wrong in bed, you speak up and say it. After all, a guy know how to tell us how he want his dick sucked!
If it's the case of him bein' a self-pleaser, then after six years, you should have gotten over this. If not, then maybe the sexual attraction is gone. If you are feelin' as if he's losin' interest in you because of the porn, then maybe you need to ban porn from bein' in your home.
But most likely, the porn is not the problem. Communicate. Ask him what's wrong. Six years is a long time, and people change. Ask him what he like, and that way you can tell him what you would like him to do, and you two can evolve together.
But keep in mind that sex is between two people. And so is a relationship. It might be you helping to create this problem. While you 'round here thinkin' you perfect, something might be wrong with you now he's subject to watchin' porn! Get it together!
If all else fails, break up. You wasted six years. What's the point of bein' with him six more years if you are unhappy? Sex play a major part in any relationship -- and if you ain't gettin it, you will be miserable. If you can't work it out after tryin' everything you can to spice up y'all sex life -- and I'm pretty sure you have not tried everything yet -- get out! Tell him he gotta tighten up!
Get the Arts & Culture Newsletter
Find out about arts and culture events in Miami and offers you won't hear about anywhere else.