You know Miami stripper Skrawberry for her rap skills, her political commentary, and of course, her sexy moves on the pole. Now, you'll also know her for her sound advice. In this weekly column, Skraw responds to readers' questions about life, love, and beyond. Got a question for Skraw? Hit her up at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I think I have "The Baby Daddy Blues!" It seems as if I'm a magnet for men with children and I don't really like it. I've been told that the rule for dating men with children is, if a man's children are 5 years or older, they're safe to date, and any numbers under that, they're still dating their baby's mom. The reason I'm really apprehensive about it is because I dated this guy a few years back that had two children which he claimed were 3 and 1 years old, and he swore he and his baby mother were done. Come to find out, this guy actually had two kids from one baby mom and a whole other baby mom that had been pregnant while he was dating me! I don't know how he managed. I should've known something when he couldn't keep his junk hard. That was straight drama!
So, I need your help and insight. What's Skraw's rules on dating men with a child or children? Because these days it's one of the three: no car, extensive criminal record, or kids!
First of all, my motto is, "Yo kids, not my business!"
You are right, it's very seldom that you'd find a man with no kids -- just as men would rarely find a woman without. But that's the world we live in. Suppose you had kids (if you don't already) and you find a guy without any, and he automatically judged you and wanted nothing to do with you? You'd feel like shit right? You can't deny your children.
I really don't have rules for datin' men with kids -- besides bein' honest on the relationship status between him and the mother of that child. That way I know how to handle myself if I am ever around that child. Especially if he's old enough to talk!
But of course you only meet children if you are serious with that child's parent. Just know this: I care to hear little or nothing about your child -- especially if I've never met him! I don't wanna hear about birthdays, Easter baskets, Christmas toys, and I don't give a fuck about they Halloween candy! But of course all that change once the relationship between you and that child's parent become serious.
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Don't X out every man you come in contact with if they already have a child. Shit, it's even sexier when you know that man is actually in his child's life and takes care of 'em! Get to know the man before you judge him based on his "child support" status. And remember: All men aren't deadbeats. Maybe you need to change the type of men you attract or are attracted to!