Seven Things Miamians Should Stop Doing
Miami Beach, art deco
Photo via Walter Smalling/Wikimedia Commons
Miami is the hottest thing to emerge from a swamp since Jennifer Lopez in Anaconda. The city's friendly neighbor Doral just hosted 88 of the world's hottest women for the Miss Universe Pageant. Beacons of hotness Debbie Harry and Eva Mendes are natives.
In short, Miami is hot. But a lot of locals and outsiders forget the cool stuff this town is known for as well. Miami Beach has the largest collection of art deco architecture in the world. The city of Miami is the only major metro area in the United States to be planned by a woman (sup, Julia Tuttle!). Miami Beach pharmacist Benjamin Green invented the first suntan cream in 1944. So why does the 305 produce such mixed feelings from visitors?
Well, Miami has been called rude. A lot.
But for transplants — newbies attempting to make the Magic City their home — maybe there are a few things Miamians could improve upon or maybe give up altogether.
Dollhouse Dance Factory: Bring It! Live
TicketsSat., Jul. 1, 8:00pm
TicketsSat., Jul. 8, 8:30pm
You're a Good Man Charlie Brown: Young Professionals
TicketsSat., Jul. 15, 2:00pm
Big Band Concerts with the Florida Wind Symphony
TicketsSat., Jul. 15, 7:00pm
Miami Curves Week Presents: Curves & Comedy
TicketsFri., Jul. 21, 9:00pm
7. Leaving shopping carts EVERYWHERE
Is this Miami's large-scale experiment with "found art" objects? Is there some kooky installation responsible for all of those displaced carts blocking parking spots and sitting lonely on medians? That's a nice thought, but mind-boggling laziness is the most likely culprit.
6. Parking like assholes
Maybe your beautiful baby deserves two and a half parking spaces. Why shouldn't your favorite toy get some breathing room? Well, dude, it's because you share the road with us peasants. Suck it up and be decent.
5. Road raging
"Road rage is a way of life here, bro... Oh my God, I have the WORST road rage — it's crazy." How is this a bragging point? The rage is a widespread virus, unfortunately, and no one is safe. Muscled dudes will try to clip you, old ladies will shake their fists, and that marketing major on her cell will huff and shriek even as she almost causes a pileup.Next Page
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