Seven Reasons Your Cat Hates The Internet

Breading. Seriously.
Breading. Seriously.

They're snuggly. They're snooty. They're hilarious. Is it any wonder our Internet tubes are clogged with cats? They're like a living, breathing, addictive substance -- one huff, and you become a raging Elmyra: "I'm gonna hug you and kiss you and love you forever!"

We estimate that for more than a decade, cats have provided at least half of all entertainment online. (The other half is, of course, porn.) But let's get real, cat owners: It's not all fun and games for your furry feline friend. The viral videos and photos featuring cats range from insulting to downright life-threatening. In fact, we're pretty sure cats everywhere are one stupid meme away from killing us all in our sleep.

The following memes represent just part of the Internet's all-out war against cats. It's clear that we need to stop the madness. Please, think of the kittens.

Seven Reasons Your Cat Hates The Internet

This is the newest dumb thing people are actually doing to animals they claim to love. Step one: Cut a cat head-shaped hole in a piece of bread. Step two: Place bread onto your cat. Step three: Take it all in, perhaps laughing, perhaps wondering why you are so incredibly bored, perhaps contemplating suicide. (These are emotions your cat is feeling as well.)

Keyboard Cat
Two possibilities here. One: This cat has been drugged into a near-coma, powerless to resist this torture. Two: This cat is biding his time, waiting for the cameraman to turn his back so that he can kill him and escape this prison of puppetry for good. If only the video quality were better, we'd be able to tell if his eyes were glazed, or merely filled with rage.

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