Seven Most Depressing Characters in the History of Comic Strips
Sunday morning comics are a bit of a dying art form. Thanks mainly to the interwebs killing off the newspaper industry, reading the comics on a Sunday morning is becoming more and more a thing of the past.
But maybe kids today are better off not reading the funny papers. Because, looking back on it, it's painfully clear they were filled with some depressing shit. Why the hell were we so eager for our parents to hand over the comic section? Oh look, Charlie Brown needs therapy! Neat!
The crap that we would read on our parent's bed while they read about the latest atrocities going on the world were really no different. In honor of that, we give you the seven most depressing comic strip characters ever:
7. Cathy: She's in her mid-30s, single, is a cat lady, and is quite frumpy. Nothing wrong with any of that, per say. But Cathy tends to drown her sorrows in chocolate and carbs and makes faces and says "Ack!" a lot, which is not a catchphrase that inspires confidence. She constantly battles with her love/hate relationship with food, her well meaning but annoying-ass mother, her failing love life and her job. Basically, Cathy is exactly like all of us, which is the most depressing fucking thing of all.
6. Jon Arbuckle: Like Cathy, Jon is in his 30s, is single, works a dead-end job, and is very much aware of the utter shittiness his life has become. What's worse is all he really has are his cat and dog. His dating life is non-existent. He constantly tries to ask out Liz, the girl he has a crush on, but always screws it up because he has zero self confidence. And when he does manage to get a date, it inevitably blows up in his face. You can actually see how sad Jon's existence is in the popular web comic Garfield Minus Garfield, where it's just Jon being Jon. And holy shit bananas, it's sad, creepy, and utterly depressing.
5. Garfield: Besides being a snarky dick and making people's Mondays more unendurable by declaring how much he hates Mondays on Facebook pictures and office coffee mugs everywhere (he's a cat, but he hates Monday just like you!), Garfield is a self-loathing, monotone talking, comfort-food-eating slob. He acts like a total asshole with his dog friend Odie, makes his owner Jon look like a dweeb, and eats lasagna all the goddamn time. If Garfield were human, he'd be the balding middle-aged fat guy working at the local comic book store.
Get the Arts & Culture Newsletter
Find out about arts and culture events in Miami and offers you won't hear about anywhere else.