Seven Miami People Who Would Make a Better President Than Donald Trump
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on a collision course that will culminate when the two face off this November to determine who will be president. This is real life. It's happening. A mere two days ago, another obstacle in Trump's path — Marco Rubio — bowed out of the election after winning only Miami-Dade County in the Florida primary.
That means many Miamians now have to decide whom to vote for in eight months. Unless a new candidate falls out of the sky, the options will be limited. But hey, what if a terrific candidate from Miami did fall out of the sky? It could happen. And these Miami people should be the ones to make it happen.
7. President Drew Rosenhaus
Do you want a man who really knows how to make better deals? Sports agent Drew Rosenhaus is your guy. He has been at the top of his profession for decades and represents about 80 NFL players, more than any other agent. And look at his wife — forget about that proposed "make sex great again" campaign for Melania Trump. By the time President Rosenhaus gets his head wrapped around our economy, we will have iPhones being built not only in America but also at our local malls. Nobody has more connections in sports than this guy, so you can be sure he will have plenty of famous — and wealthy — supporters. President Rosenhaus will give America better deals.
6. President Pitbull
Who could possibly be a better ambassador for the United States than a man nicknamed Mr. Worldwide? OK, probably a few people, but not many. Mr. Pit (we would have to call him that if he is elected, so I'm getting used to it) makes everyone happy with his music. If you play "Give Me Everything" at a family reunion, your abuela will get up and dance with your 5-year-old nephew. Imagine a president rapping, "Give me everything tonight/For all we know we might not get tomorrow!" Chances are ISIS loves Pitbull, and those guys will decide it's not worth it anymore. Everyone loves Pitbull! President Pitbull is the man America deserves.
5. President Chris Bosh
Chris Bosh is undoubtedly a smart man with many talents. He seems like he could pretty much do anything he sets his mind to, so if his career is indeed sidetracked due to his battle with blood clots, why not politics? The pro-basketball player has the humor of Barack Obama, so people would be drawn to him when he speaks about things like foreign policy. Pinterest thinks he "looks like a dinosaur," which would make him attractive to those Republicans who want to bomb ISIS "back to the Stone Age." He taught himself Spanish, which would give him an advantage in the biggest states, including our very own Florida. He has the most beautiful family, with twin boys on the way. And he's already rich, so he's not for sale. President Bosh is the man we need to lead us for the next four years.
Get the Arts & Culture Newsletter
Find out about arts and culture events in Miami and offers you won't hear about anywhere else.