Seven Hot GILFs in Honor of Gorgeous Grandma Day
Liver spots, colostomy bags, and Metamucil-breath. There are just so many things that can make a memaw beautiful. But according to gorgeousgrandma.com which declared last Saturday Gorgeous Grandma Day, blue hair and medical alert bracelets do not equate to straight-up sexiness. Apparently these are the qualities that make a granny a comely cougar:
- Believes she has her whole life ahead of her, not her whole life behind her.
- Wants to get the most out of every day of her life.
- Wants to thrive, not just survive.
- Cares for her mind and her body.
- Remains adaptable to life's bittersweet as well as sweet.
- Loves life - and lets everyone know it!
- Cherishes herself as much as she cherishes her loved ones.
- Always open to learning, to new ideas, to new challenges and to new experiences.
We know plenty of nanas that fit those requirements. Check out our picks after the jump, just try not to break a hip.
1. Betty White
Believes she has her whole life ahead of her, not her whole life behind her.
Betty White, who is America's grandma, had accomplished quite a bit in her life when a Snickers commercial and a Facebook-enforced gig hosting SNL made White white hot in her late 80s. As of late she's been nominated for yet another Emmy (girlfriend already has seven) for her role has the sarcastic, bedazzling, old coot Elka Ostrovsky on Hot in Celeveland, debuted her own clothing line which features shirts with her face on them (all proceeds go to various animal charities she supports), and has written a book called If You Ask Me (And of Course You Won't). So, what will White be up to in her 90s? Here's hoping it's the cure for cancer in the form of cheesecake.
TicketsSat., Mar. 25, 10:00pm
TicketsSat., Mar. 25, 11:00pm
The Magic of Bill Blagg Live!
TicketsSun., Mar. 26, 2:00pm
Magique - Experience The Illusion
TicketsSun., Mar. 26, 8:00pm
Dr. Morton - New President, New Foreign Policy: Two-Month Assessment
TicketsMon., Mar. 27, 7:30pm
2. Sarah Palin
Wants to get the most out of every day of her life.
Moose-shooter, Joe Six-pack empathizer, and bouffant enthusiast Sarah Palin sure knows how to grab life by the horns and mount those horns on her wall, dagnabit! We imagine a typical day in Palin's life goes something like this:
5:30 a.m.: Wake up
5:35 a.m.: Check backyard for Russians
7:30 a.m.: Shoot a caribou
7:40 a.m.: Eat breakfast
8 a.m.: Check a pack of Crayola Crayons for names to recommend for future grandchildren
12 p.m.: Perfect Tina Fey impersonation
2 p.m.: Shoot another caribou
2:10 p.m.: Call an interior decorator for suggestions on how to redecorate the Oval Office when she becomes the first lady president
:11 p.m.: Call another interior decorator
2:13 p.m.: Call another interior decorator
2:15 p.m.: Check Google to see if "endless laughter" is a just cause for a law suit
3 p.m.: Dodge brick that comes through living room window
3:15 p.m.: Stick a pin in Obama voodoo doll
3:20 p.m.: Pray
4 p.m.: Skim through dictionary and randomly yell "that's not a real word!"
5 p.m.: Wrestle a grizzly
5:10 p.m.: Have a cup of tea
3. Dee Gruenig AKA Rainbow Sponge Lady
Wants to thrive, not just survive.
Most elderly ladies take up arts and crafts to a) help with arthritis or b) to pass the time until they croak. But not Dee Gruenig! Dee made the art of sponging rainbow "wiggles" her life passion. In fact, she gets so excited about rainbow wiggles it literally makes her moan, especially when she's using a virgin sponge on hard wood:
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