Ryan Lochte Is In Talks For Reality TV: Five Shows We'd Watch
"I cannot tell you the exact shows, but two different reality show concepts have been offered and one additional is being discussed," Lochte's agent confirmed to THR.
That's right. Lochte's reign of Rob Drydek-style douchery isn't coming to an end when the Olympics are over August 12. It's only just beginning.
But that's not necessarily such a bad thing. Lochte's unique fratboy persona actually fits quite nicely into the reality TV show format. Check out five Lochte-riffic shows we'd watch religiously after the jump.
Sarge: The Chanukah Chutzpah Tour... "Kiss My Mezuzah"
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 8:00pm
Fundarte Presents: Chiflón By Chile's Silencio Blanco Theatre Company
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 8:30pm
JTF's Friday Night Live
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 9:00pm
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 10:00pm
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 11:00pm
Much has been made of Lochte's penchant for fashion. The giant closet, the custom sneakers with his own name on the soles, the flashy, rap-inspired jewelry -- it's his outlet, his passion, his art. So let's put it to the test by TV's fashion authorities: Project Runway judges Heidi Klum, Michael Kors, and Nina Garcia. We can hear Kors now: "It's like my 12-year-old nephew moved to Queens and joined the circus!"
So You Think You Can Dance in a Swimming Pool With Ryan Lochte
A synchronized swimming reality competition, obviously. Think of all the one-night stands Lochte could recruit from the ranks. But that's beside the point. This is really just an excuse to dress Lochte up in a sparkly bathing suit, cover his face in clown-like, waterproof makeup, and force him to smile like a maniac as he thrashes around the pool. Hey, it's still more attractive than that American flag grill.
The Douche Factor
Lochte's taking a lot of shit for his douchey ways lately, but he's just the most recent douchebag to take over America's hearts and minds. (Well, our minds, anyway.) Remember Pauly D? Dane Cook? The cast of Vh1's Tool Academy? There's only one way to determine whose horrible bro-ness reigns supreme: a televised douche-off, judged by a panel of washed-up experts. Somebody get Pauly Shore on the line.
Game shows are OG of the reality show genre. And Alex Trebek is the OG of the game show universe. Imagine his baffled, disdainful reply when Lochte responds to every question with "What is, your mom! Jeah!"
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