Rocky Mountain Lows

Ah, the cold, refreshing taste of the Rockies. Gross. If you’re not a sportsperson, your only association with the Rocky Mountains is probably Coors Light, a brew that competes year-round for first place in the World’s Swilliest Beer contest. The only thing worse than Coors Light are Coors Light commercials. Fake news conferences with football coaches? A mythical train that busts into unpleasant situations to an O’Jays tune like a modern-day Kool-Aid Man? Ice Cube? Are you effing kidding? Clearly, all things related to the Rocky Mountains suck. Which is why we’re excited to watch the Miami Marlins take on the Colorado Rockies Monday at 7:10 p.m. We have a baseball team that’s actually decent this year, a brand-spankin’-new stadium to watch ’em in, and Showtime’s The Franchise series about the Marlins to look forward to when the season is over. What do the Rockies have — mountains that turn blue in the cold? Please.
Mon., May 21, 7:10 p.m., 2012


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